Hollow Man
by DarkElements10
Summary: Logan Mitchell; flirty, fun loving, smart, responsible. But even the smartest and most sensible guy of BTR suffers from body issues and wanting to be accepted. Being in a famous boy band makes it harder. Lella-centric request for Rage-Against-Time
1. June 10th 2010

**Hollow Man**

**Summary-Logan Mitchell; flirty, fun loving, smart, sensible, responsible. But even the smartest and most sensible guy of BTR suffers from body issues and wanting to be accepted. Being in a famous boy band makes it harder. Lella-centric request for Rage-Against-Time.**

* * *

><p><em>June 10th, 2010<em>

_Probably the most exciting day of my life. I was in New York, doing something I never thought I'd ever do in my entire life: play a sold out concert to hundreds of fans in Times Square! In New York! Me! Logan Mitchell! I was just an ordinary 16 year old about two months ago, playing hockey in Minnesota with my friends, Kendall Knight, James Diamond, and Carlos Garcia._

_None of this would have ever happened if it wasn't for James. Ever since I met him (after moving to Minnesota from Texas when I was 9 years old), all he's talked about was wanting to be famous. He's actually a great singer and he's always wanted to make a career out of it. But with his parents divorce, his father being a body builder, and his mother owning a cosmetic company, they've always tried to force him into doing things that they wanted. Which explains why he's really athletic and really good looking (for all you girls out there.) If he hadn't gone on and on about wanting to sing, we would've never gone to audition for Gustavo Rocque._

_Actually, if it wasn't for Kendall Knight we wouldn't have gone.  
><em>

_So, how do I fit in with this group? Where do I fit?_

_Kendall Knight; leader, brother, everyone loves him  
><em>

_James Diamond; the "Face", talented, athletic._

_Carlos Garcia: happy, funny, fun-loving_

_Logan Mitchell: smart, sensible, responsible._

_I was just, me. Plain, boring Logan. Sure, people think I'm cute, but to stand next to someone like James and hear people call him 'hot' all the time, it gets to you after a while. Even Kendall and Carlos get called that. But, I'm just cute little Logan fromTexas who can't sing or dance. The one that wears sweater vests and makes sure everything is ironed and in its proper spot._

_June 10th, 2010_

_The worst day of my life. The day I decided it was time for a change._

_~Logan Mitchell_

* * *

><p><strong>AN: And there's the prologue! This is a request for Rage-Against-Time, she wanted a Lella centric story and as someone that not only loves my OCs in this fandom but also in the Just My Luck/McFly fandom (being a long time fan) I was happy to do this. There will be other couples in this story as well, don't worry.**

**Cheers,**

**-Rhubes**_  
><em>


	2. Logan

**~Logan~**

* * *

><p>Logan Mitchell is a perfectionist.<p>

Always has been, always will be.

Everyone thought he was perfect in the way they wanted to see him. Unfortunately, he didn't think he was. There were times where he thought he wasn't suited to be friends with Kendall, James, and Carlos, and there were times where he didn't think he was suited to being a singer. But he was the type that always wanted to please people.

But that was enough stress for him sometimes and he had to do something to take his mind off of it. Which was why he was out in Palm Woods Park playing soccer with his friends. Logan wasn't much of an athlete, everyone knew it, but they had fun staying active nonetheless. The teams were Kendall and Logan against Carlos and James, an even match as James had a big ego, but Kendall and Logan really knew how to play well as a team.

"Guys, we should stop the game here," Kendall Knight said as he pulled his beanie off of his head, wiping the sweat from his forehead. He put his foot on top of the soccer ball that he was currently kicking in front of him towards the make shift goal made out of James's shoes. "Gustavo will throw a fit…or throw _us_ if we're late to the studio again."

"You're just saying that because we were winning," James said, breathing heavily, wiping the sweat off his forehead as well, leaving his bare chest to glisten in the sunlight. He pulled up his baggy jeans to cover the waist band of his red and blue checkered boxers before tucking his shirt farther into the waist band so he wouldn't lose it. "I was wondering when you were going to give up." He wiggled his toes happily into the cool grass.

"No one can beat us," Carlos said with a loud whoop, punching the air with his fists.

Logan rolled his eyes. "But we almost had you a few times." He patted Carlos on the back. "That was a great game, guys."

"Yeah, thanks," James replied, moving to sit on the ground. He grinned and slapped his ab muscles. "Gotta keep the good shape and the fame." He gave his usual cocky, yet charming, smile.

"Who said that you're really famous?" Kendall said with a smirk.

"Of course I am!" James replied, brushing his hair back from his face. Carlos and Logan shook their heads, used to James's comments on how hot he was or how talented he was.

If it wasn't for James's dream to become a famous singer, they wouldn't be in California. When Gustavo Rocque and his assistant, Kelly Wainwright, stopped in Minnesota looking for a new star, they had found a way for James to get there, but Gustavo told him that he had no talent. This made Kendall mad as he hated it whenever someone not only discarded someone's natural talent, but talked badly about his friends. He then sang an improvised song about Gustavo being a "giant turd" and the rest, as they say, was history.

"Didn't you see all those hot chicks there just to see me?" James grinned, looking around at the girls who were spending their time at the park, relaxing. But it was a female voice with a heavy accent that caught the boys' attention.

"I should thank you for calling me 'hot', though 'chick' I can live without." They turned around to see their friends and fellow singers, Riley and Rhuben Jackson-McGuire, both 17 years old making their way over to them. Logan gave the twin girls a wide smile in greeting.

He had known them, and their brothers, since he was nine years old. They had moved to Texas from Sydney, Australia, when they were nine like him. Seeing as they lived next door to him, they quickly became friends. If you asked them, it was only because he had Ring Pops, but he knew that that wasn't the case. Shortly after they moved there, he was moving to Minnesota and they were moving to California to start their music career in California. Ever since, they had become a successful band while he met his new friends and they had a falling out of communication.

But then they moved out to California and met up with them again. But the girls weren't the same as he remembered; they were more stand offish and it was hard for them to gain his, and his friends' trust. They soon found out why; they had been and were suffering from child abuse from their father, Robert Jackson. After months of being out in California, Logan, Kendall, James, and Carlos, Kendall's younger sister, Katie Knight, and their new friends Camille Roberts, Jo Taylor, and Stephanie King eventually gained their trust and helped them send their father to jail. After that happened, they were adopted bu their music producer, Ronan McGuire, and have been the happiest he'd seen them.

"Good game," Riley said as she gave Logan a hug in greeting. She arched an eyebrow as she turned to James. "But let's say I wasn't there only because of you. It's a t-e-a-m, not J-a-m-e-s, remember?" Her lips twitched into a teasing smile.

"Hey, I scored the most!" James replied, getting to his feet. He jogged over to his shoes and retrieved them.

"Good for you." Rhuben rolled her blue eyes. Blue eyes were like a trademark in the Jackson-McGuire family, along with black hair, and a plethora of other mannerisms. She had released Logan from her hug, but kept an arm around his waist, using the other to put her hand on her hip. "You all did great for hockey players."

"Is that supposed to be a compliment?" Carlos asked, a confused look crossing his face. Rhuben smirked.

"If you want it to be," she replied which caused Carlos to chuckle.

"Thanks for letting us borrow this," Kendall said as he bent to pick up the soccer ball. He picked it up in his hands and tossed it over to Riley who quickly caught it before starting to spin it on her finger much like basketball players did with basketballs. "It was a great game while it lasted."

"Do you guys have to work today?" Logan asked.

"No, Ronan gave us the day off," Rhuben replied, brushing her hair behind her shoulders. "Which is why we came looking for you, actually. He, Gustavo, and Griffin were in a meeting today which made Gustavo even more irritable than usual. I suggest you head over there now before Gustavo has _another_ reason to cause an earthquake."

"Well, if that's not a good reason to leave, I don't know what is," Kendall commented, pressing his lips together. "See you guys later?"

There wasn't a point in him asking that questions as the Jacksons always dropped by the studio. They were homeschooled so for three hours in the morning, they had school, went to work on their own music, and then around 12:30 always headed down to Rocque Records to hang out with Big Time Rush and just to get on Gustavo's nerves.

"Count on it, Hockey-Head," Riley replied, bumping his fist as James started to pull on his shoes and Carlos and Logan started packing up their stuff.

"You ok, Logie-Bear?" Rhuben asked Logan.

Logan cringed at the nickname, like he always did when he heard it, but turned to take his tie that she was holding out to him, along with his shoes. Logan glanced at her, silently debating on whether or not he was going to tell her. But the look on her face showed that she knew something was bothering him and she wasn't going to drop the subject anytime soon.

"Do you…do _you _think I could have played better?" Logan asked quietly, focusing his attention on lacing his shoelaces.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I _was_ kinda slow," Logan replied, brushing the dirt off his clothes, still trying not to look her in the eye. "I can position myself well enough, but… it's true that I'm not one of the fastest or most athletic."

"Hey," Rhuben put a hand on his shoulder, gently squeezing it. "Stop it! You did your best and that's all that matters! There isn't a perfect player. _You're _not perfect and you don't have to be." Logan looked up at her and attempted a smile. "You taught me that, remember?" She gave him another hug. "Don't worry about it, Logie. You're still our genious."

"I guess…" Logan replied, his half smile fading slightly. _But, I saw the way you were looking at James. _

* * *

><p><strong>And there's chapter one! It was really more like an introduction chapter, but you see where the problems begin. Chapters will be long or short depending on my mood and whether or not they actually need to be long or short. Shorter ones will usually just be journal entries or stuff from other people's point of views and stuff like that!<strong>

**Thanks for reading!**

**Cheers,**

**-Rhubes**


	3. Training

**~Training~**

* * *

><p>Kendall's eyes flew open when he heard a loud crashing sound. He heard Logan mutter something from across the room as he rolled around in his bed. Kendall pulled his blankets up over his head as he squeezed his eyes shut.<p>

"Whatever James and Carlos did, I'll yell at them later," he commented in a tired voice.

"Mhm," Logan replied, burying his face into his pillow.

Kendall growled when he heard another loud bang, shortly followed by a short, high pitched blast, from a whistle. Seconds later, his own bedroom door burst open, causing him to jump in fright, before a loud whistle was blown.

"Come on, get up!"

He rubbed his eyes and blinked tiredly up at Patrick as he spun the whistle, attached to a string, around his fingers. Logan blinked repeatedly, staring at the black haired teenager, as if trying to figure out whether or not he's still dreaming. Patrick clapped his hands together.

"Get up!" he repeated. "Come on, bludgers, let's go! You're wasting day light. James and Carlos are already waiting."

"It's only 6:30," Logan groaned, glancing at the clock. "Why are we up this early?"

"To train," Patrick replied simply, raising and lowering a shoulder in a one armed shrug.

"For what?" Kendall asked, wrapping his blankets tighter around himself. '_If he doesn't leave now, I won't be held responsible for my actions_.'

"To get in shape, now _come on_!" Patrick yanked the blankets from around Kendall with one sharp tug. "We've got a lot of work to do. First we're going to do some cardio, then we're heading down to the beach, and then to the gymnastics place, and then cardio again for a cool down." He smiled at the two boys. "Sounds like fun, right?"

"Sounds like torture," Logan replied, before squeezing his eyes shut when Patrick blew into the whistle again. '_First the other day and now today. I'm so tired I can't move_.' "And would you keep it down?"

"Yeah, you'll wake up my mom and Katie," Kendall groaned, sitting up, running his fingers through his hair.

"We won't have to worry about it if you're dressed and out of here in five seconds," Riley commented, stepping into the room. She rolled her eyes when Logan and Kendall instinctively pulled their blankets up to cover themselves. She stalked over to Logan's bed and pulled the blankets off him as well. "It's not like it's anything I haven't seen before, Logie! Now let's go, we've got a lot to do today!"

An annoyed look crossed her face when he started pressing his finger into her cheek. "What are you doing?"

"Where's the off switch?" he asked, his head bent, eyes closed.

"You guys said you wanted to be a successful band, right?" Riley asked, crossing her arms over her chest. "You're going to need to get into shape, and if you have to get up early to do that, then so be it. It's really not that bad, we do it every day."

"Besides, today is only a test to see how much shape you're in," Patrick added, resting an arm on her shoulder. "The better you do, the faster you get this over with."

Soon, they were all standing in the lobby of the Palm Woods. James was the only one that looked even remotely awake. He was bouncing on his toes in anticipation, wondering what we were going to do for the day. Seeing as his dad was a body builder, he always went to the gym to work out with him, so he was excited to get back in the gym as it was the first time he'd be doing it since he got out to LA.

"Alright, everybody take a bike," Riley called out as she flipped on the lights to the weight room. She closed the door behind her as Kendall, James, Carlos, and Logan sat down on one of the bikes as Rhuben, Patrick, Noah, and Sydney got on a treadmill and immediately started it up.

"They're not on bikes," Carlos whined.

"They don't need to be on bikes," Riley replied evenly.

"You're going to want to take off your helmet as well," Rhuben stated, turning around so she was walking backwards on the treadmill, holding onto the handle bars. "You'll overheat quicker and pass out."

"Which would help break the fall, though," Patrick commented, smirking.

"So, I'm going to have you guys do this bike for 20 minutes, the first 10 minutes, you can do it at your own pace. Then the second ten minutes, I want you to go as fast as you can but keep that pace." Riley stated, crossing her arms over her chest. She then titled her head to the side. "When I tell you, one at a time, I want you to sing the chorus to one of your songs."

They all gave her an odd look.

"Uh…Riles?" James asked, putting his hand into the air. "I don't get why we need to sing and do this at the same time? I mean, if you're testing us on our physical strength, let me show you what I can do on the bench press!"

Riley muttered something under her breath, scratching the side of her head, before nodding over at Logan who had his hand in the air.

"What's the point of that?" Logan asked, tilting his head to the side. "If we're pedaling the bike as fast as we can, we won't be taking in the maximum amount of air we need to be able to sing and to project."

"_That's _the point," Riley replied, making her way over to the last open treadmill. "You need to build up your stamina. There will be times where you're going to be performing two, maybe three shows a week, and you're going to be dead tired. But, you're still going to have to perform anyway, and you can't let it affect your performance."

They all sighed before starting the machines. Soon the four of them were sweating and breathing heavily, heads down, eyes squeezed shut in pain. They understood the point that the Jacksons were trying to make as while they were still on their first ten minutes of easy biking, they were running on the treadmills with a speed of 8, singing at the top of their lungs, and even Sydney was keeping up with them.

Once it got down to them having to sing and bike at the same time, James was the only one that was the slightest bit successful. He was able to get through the chorus fully, but still had to stop a few times to take in breaths of air, where as Kendall, Carlos, and Logan could barely get any words out.

"If you had to do a concert now, you'd fail miserably," Riley stated, crossing her arms over her chest.

"We can easily fix that though," Patrick said, wiping sweat off his forehead. "I mean, every singer and dancer has a training regiment to keep them in shape. I can make you guys one. You just have to make sure you stick to it every day." He then grinned and flexed his right arm. "And you'll get guns like these." Noah rolled his eyes.

"And if we don't?" Kendall asked, looking like he was going to mutiny.

"Gustavo will turn you into shishkabobs," Patrick commented, making a face. "It's like dance rehearsals, it'll show if you don't practice. Mr. X might go easy on you, but Rhuben is like, a nazi, when it comes to dancing. If you don't get it right the first time, you'll really regret it."

"Well, what's next?" Logan asked, straightening. He put his hands on his hips, tilted his head back, and let out a breath of air. He glanced over at James and saw that he was still biking, but was paying attention to everything that the Jacksons were saying. Logan slowly started to pedal as well. '_If James can do it, I can do it too_.'

"We're going to run a mile," Sydney said simply, locking his hands behind his back.

"That shouldn't be so hard," James said with a small laugh, picking up speed. Silently, Logan did the same, glancing at him out of the corner of his eye.

"On the beach."

"Even better, we get to be near the water and it's bound to be cooler," Logan stated, starting to breathe heavier. James's lips twitched and he started to pedal faster, quickly doing the same. '_Two can play at this game. He's not the only strong one in the group_.'

"As fast as you can as you're being timed." Sydney giggled when he saw the pained looks on the guys' faces.

"Believe it or not, we're actually taking it easy on you today," Rhuben stated, glancing over at the two boys, her eyes narrowing slightly.

"Somehow I doubt that," Kendall groaned, continuously wiping the sweat off his face with the bottom of his shirt. "You love seeing us in pain, don't you?"

"Think of it as conditioning for hockey season," Riley suggested, arching an eyebrow. "You did train for hockey season didn't you, Hockey-Head?"

"If by training you mean getting chased around by a bunch of girls, then yes," Carlos groaned, although he had a small smile on his face. "Good times."

Riley rolled her eyes, but turned to face James and Logan after Rhuben elbowed her in the side. "What part of 'Stop' didn't you guys get?" she asked, watching the two of them pedal as fast as they could, breathing heavily, sweat pouring down their faces.

"The S-T-O-P part apparently," Patrick replied, scratching at his forehead.

"Knock it off guys," Riley commanded. "You're going to do some real damage if you don't give yourself a break." Her eyes flashed when neither boy stopped, but exchanged competitive glances. "James, we all know how strong you are, but stop showing off!"

James suddenly stopped, looking up at Riley in shock. Ever since they had gave each other the nicknames Handsome (for James) and Beautiful (for Riley and Rhuben as James constantly flirted with them) she had never called him by his first name. When she did was the only way James knew that he had to stop what he was doing and listen to her.

"He started it," James commented, giving a shrug, before motioning over to Logan who was still pedaling furiously.

"Come on, let's go," Riley commented, patting Logan on the shoulder, getting him to stop. "I don't want you to hurt yourself."

"I'm not….gonna hurtmyself," Logan breathed out. "I…was….doingfine."

"I know you were, but you don't want to be wiped out when you run," Riley replied as the group started making their way out of the gym at the Palm Woods. She peered at him, looking at his bright red face as he wiped at it with his shirt. She slightly slapped his stomach with the back of her hand and grinned. "Let him burn out all his energy and you can easily beat him running."

'_That's the only way I'd be able to do it, right_?' Logan thought, letting in a big breath of air. '_Because I'm slow. That's exactly what you're thinking isn't it_?' He pressed his lips together as he brought up the rear of the group. '_I will_ _beat James. No, I'm going to be better than James. They'll see_.'

* * *

><p>"So, how'd we do?" James asked after they were done running, breathing heavily, hands on his knees. He looked at the two girls expectantly. Logan rolled his eyes. Riley tucked her shirt into the waistband of her shorts before glancing at her watch.<p>

"James clocked in at 10 minutes and 30 seconds," she announced.

"Kendall finished at 11:25," Patrick said.

"Logan finished at 11:45," Noah brushed his hair off his forehead.

"And Carlos was last at 12 minutes flat," Sydney said turning to the pouting boy. "If it helps, you never stopped running." He frowned and crossed his arms over his chest when Carlos continued to pout. "_I _thought you did good."

"Well," Noah corrected him.

"How fast do you want us to run this?" James asked, lifting the bottom of his shirt to wipe off the sweat from his forehead.

'_He did that on purpose_' Logan thought, hiding the smirk on his face as he ran his hands over his face. "Yeah, how fast?"

"Well….we generally run this in between 6 and 7 minutes," Riley said after a moment of silence. Kendall, James, Carlos, and Logan let out a collective groan, collapsing back down into the sand. "I think we should call it a day before they mutiny."

"Either way, you should get used to this fast," Rhuben commented, arms crossed over her chest. "We do this every morning, then we have school, then dance rehearsal, then studio work, and then training in the evening as well. It's the only way you'll improve quickly."

"Bring it on," James said with a grin, clapping his hands together, bouncing from foot to foot.

"Since we're cutting this short today, we'll be doing acrobatics all day tomorrow," Riley added and Logan couldn't help but smile from ear to ear.

'_Finally! Something I can do better than the rest of them!_' Logan put his hands on his hips, letting out a satisfied smile. '_Finally_.'

* * *

><p><strong>And there's chapter three! Stephanie, Camille, and Jo will be making appearances in this fanfic as well. Not sure about WayneWayne, Dak, and Lizzie. If you want to see them, just tell me, if not, you can also tell me that too. Hope you guys liked this.<strong>

**Cheers,**

**-Rhubes**


	4. Gymnastics

**~Gymnastics~**

* * *

><p><em>June 27th 2010<em>

_I just want you to understand, I did it for everyone. For her. Not many people can understand that. Mama Knight doesn't, Kendall doesn't, James doesn't, Carlos doesn't, the industry doesn't, Gustavo doesn't. She does. Hopefully you will too. _

_-Logan Mitchell_

* * *

><p>Logan sighed in happiness as he stepped into the gymnastics center the next day. His fingers twitched at his sides, anxious to show off to his friends what he could do. '<em>Finally<em>, _I can be the best at something_' he thought, trying to keep his smile from getting really wide.

Even as excited as he was though, he couldn't deny the fact that he was really tired and his muscles were sore! He even hurt in places he didn't know could hurt. He sucked in a deep breath of air, reveling in the familiar smell of the gym.

"Brings back memories doesn't it?" Riley asked, clapping him on the back. She snickered when he groaned in pain. "Sorry, I forgot."

"Yeah, lucky you," Logan said in a tight voice, his shoulders up to his ears. But he allowed her to step over to him and give him a hug, which he returned. "How're you doing today, Riles?"

"Meh, it's early, things can change," she replied with a shrug. "We've gotta meeting with Ronan tonight about our new album, we're _really_ busy tomorrow but we'll see if we can stop by as usual, y'know to try and stop Gustavo from pulverizing you guys."

"I'd love you forever if you could do that," Logan commented as he released her. She gave him a teasing smile.

"I don't know, I mean, he's right about how you guys always talk back, maybe you need to get yelled at every now and then," she stated, crossing her arms over her chest. Logan gave her an annoyed look and she laughed. "I'm just kidding, Logie. Impress me today and it'll be worth your while."

"Yeah, I wanna see how much is muscle memory," Rhuben added, giving him a hug as well. Logan held onto her a little longer, briefly closing his eyes and taking a quick whiff of her hair. He smiled and sighed.

'_Cherries_' he thought with a smile.

"What does she mean, Logan?" Kendall asked, adjusting the beanie on his head. Riley walked past him and whipped it off his head, before placing it on hers, dancing out of his reach as he lunged for it.

"Trust me, you won't need this," she stated. "You're going to pass out if you have this wool on your head."

"You haven't told them yet?" Noah asked, getting back to the topic at hand, speaking up for the first time that morning. With the room so big, it was even harder for people to hear him.

"Tell us what?" James asked, tilting his head to the side as he turned to his friends. "Tell us that a level-headed goody two shoes like you is friends with two unbelievable good looking girls?"

"Thanks, James," Logan raised his eyebrows. "That really boosted my self-confidence." He rolled his eyes and shook his head. '_I do have friends besides you guys y'know. Let me guess, next it'll be hard to believe that I'll eventually get a girlfriend too._'

"Anytime buddy," James clapped him on the back, smiling. Logan made a face at him, rolling his eyes.

"Lay off, James," Rhuben commented, in a tight voice. James glanced back and forth between the two best friends before pressing his lips together, the corners twitching as if he was trying to stop a smile.

"Thanks," Logan mouthed to her, giving her a small smile. She silently nodded in return.

"What's the matter?" Kendall asked. Logan hesitated, choking on his words, trying to find a good way to tell his friends.

"Let me see I can help," Riley suggested before turning to his friends. "Logan shouldn't have any problem with this gymnastics stuff considering he used to take gymnastic classes."

"You?" Carlos pointed a finger in Logan's face before he burst out laughing. "Gymnastics?"

"Oh, just watch," Logan sighed stepping out onto the floor. He started bouncing up and down on the spot. "See, they put springs under here for floor routines and so you can still do flips and stuff. Like, this round off back handspring, tuck."

Logan bounced in his spot a few times before executing the flip, landing easily on his feet. His friends stared at him in awe, laughter aside. He then made a face of pain as his muscles screamed in agony. But nevertheless, he felt great about himself and couldn't help but smile.

'_Finally, something I can do that they can't_' he thought with a grin. '_And the look on James's face was worth it! How's that for little nerdy Logan_?'

"Wow, Logan, that was amazing," Kendall said, eyes still wide.

"Yeah, I mean, who knew you could do that?" Carlos asked and winced when Kendall elbowed him hard in the side.

"Impressive," James said shortly, jaw still dropped. He then cracked a grin. "You've got to show me how to do that." Logan grinned.

"Who do you think taught him how to do a back flip?" Sydney asked with a smirk, jerking his thumb in Rhuben's direction as she put her hands on her hips.

"Good news is since Logan's a natural, it'll be one less person to really worry about," she commented with the famous Jackson one armed shrug. Logan's smile got even wider as he rejoined his friends, James and Kendall clapping him on the back. "It's going to take the rest of you guys a lot longer to get your body momentum and muscles and all that good stuff to be able to do stuff like this."

"First off, stretching," Riley added, motioning for everyone to make a circle. "We're going to start with planks today." She sighed heavily when she saw the confused looks on Big Time Rush's faces. "Little Man?"

"A plank is an isometric core strength exercise that involves maintaining a difficult position for extended periods of time," Sydney recited, arms behind his back, rocking back and forth on his heels. Logan couldn't help but smile at how smart the small boy was. It reminded him a lot of himself. "The most common plank is the front plank which is held in a push-up position with the body's weight borne on forearms, elbows, and toes." He nodded when Patrick and Noah moved into plan position. "Many variations exist such as the side plank and the reverse plank. The plank is commonly practiced in Pilates and yoga, and by those training for boxing and other sports. The plank strengthens the abdominals, back, and shoulders."

"Right, we're just doing this to see how much strength you hold in your abs," Rhuben explained motioning for everyone else to get to their knees. She pushed a few buttons on her watch. "We're going to see who can last the longest doing this." She then patted James on the head before taking the time to run her fingers through his hair. "Handsome here most likely will last longer than the rest of you guys thanks to his wonderful muscles but that doesn't necessarily mean he's the best at doing these."

"Thank you, Beautiful," James replied with a flirty smile and a wink.

"Anytime," Rhuben replied with a smirk of her own.

Logan frowned. Her smirk could mean any number of things; cockiness, amusement, challenge, flirty, anything, and he was worried. He couldn't figure out what this one meant, but a feeling of dread washed over him when he thought about her flirting back with James and being serious about it.

Unbeknownst to anyone else, he hoped, he had forever harbored feelings for his best friend. Even at 9 years old, he knew he had liked her more than Riley (not that he would ever admit it and not that he didn't like her at all, they were all best friends with each other), but there was something special about her that made him always want to be around her.

Even after all those years apart and their apparent changes physically and personality wise, he had never let his feelings go, knowing one day he'd see her again. But, he still wasn't used to the fact that flirting was one side of Rhuben's sense of humor. And he had found more and more often that she would flirt with James, serious or not. But Logan could easily calm himself down with one though:

_He wasn't her type_.

"Logan!" Logan blinked and looked up to see Rhuben looking over at him, a cool look on her face. "We're about to start? Are you ready or not?"

"Um, yeah, yeah," Logan replied, moving to position himself on his hands and knees. "Sorry." He felt his face burn as he bowed his head to stare at the ground. '_Stupid, Logan! Way to go_!'

He did and didn't take the outburst personally. When it came to training and dancing and music and, well, _everything_ the Jacksons were either professional or passionate, being serious and focused at first and then joking and laughing and having fun.

"And…_go_!"

Logan raised himself up onto his toes and forearms. He let out a breath of air before clenching his teeth, already feeling his ab muscles burning.

He had noticed how much more open they've been since they had helped send their dad, Robert Jackson, to jail for child abuse. Logan was shocked to find out about that little secret but was happy to be able to help his friends, and he's happy to see them starting to open up about everything and start to enjoy life.

Logan let out a large breath of air, clenching his teeth even tighter, squeezing his eyes shut. He could hear Kendall and Carlos's loud cries of pain the longer they went on, and some curses here and there, but he didn't hear anything from James.

Logan lifted his head and looked over at James and saw that he was doing a side plank, bicep muscles bulging, looking calm cool and collected. '_Of course_' Logan thought rolling his eyes. "_It'd be easy for anyone to do that if they had abs like his. I should start doing more crunches and stuff, it would help me boost everything I do in gymnastics._'

Logan rolled onto his side, using his left arm to steady himself, his back facing James, and briefly ran his hand over his stomach. He could feel his skin pudging a little bit around his stomach, but could also feel hints of abs underneath it. He sighed heavily and balanced himself on both arms again, groaning when he felt pain starting to slide up and down his arms. His body started shaking and he held his breath, but felt his arms gave out and he hit the mats hard, groaning as his sore muscles hit the ground.

"Nice try, Logan, you were one minute in," Riley said to him, walking over to him and patting him on his back. She then sat down next to him and ran her fingers through the hair at the back of his neck and he rested his forehead on the ground. "Better than I thought you'd do."

"Than…ks," Logan groaned, turning his head into the side, pressing his cheek into the ground.

He closed his eyes sighing at the tough of affection from his friend. He immediately flashed back to when they were back in Texas. She would always do it whenever he was stressed out and he never imagined he'd miss it until she started doing it again recently. It sent shivers down his spine, in a good platonic way of course, and made him immediately forget what was bothering him.

"I'm serious," Riley replied and Logan opened an eye. She glanced at her watch as Carlos hit the mats, shortly before Kendall. "One minute twenty, one minute twenty five. Good job, guys." She then turned her attention back to Logan. "You're not as hopeless as you think you are. You've really improved since you started whether you notice it or not."

'_It still scares me how she can do that_' Logan thought with a sigh, pushing himself up onto his forearms. '_They're so perceptive it's scary_.' He looked over at James and sighed again, seeing that he was still in his side plank position. "You think I should work out more? Get some more muscle mass?"

"Well, it wouldn't hurt," Riley replied and Logan rolled onto his back and peered up at her. "I mean, you're going to gain it anyway with everything we're going to put you through." He chuckled when he saw the mischievous look on her face.

"You love seeing us in pain don't you?" Logan asked, briefly closing his eyes.

"Correction Logie-Bear," Riley replied and Logan winced at the nickname. "We love seeing you _succeed_!" Logan couldn't help but smile at her. "Speaking of pain, go help Rhubes wrap her foot. She's coming off an ankle injury."

Logan pressed his lips together giving her a hard look. Riley widened her blue eyes in innocence. He knew what she was doing. She knew about Logan's feelings for her twin and pretty much did everything she could to try and push them together. While he was happy for it, it didn't make him feel any better because he knew it was a set up and that just made him even more nervous.

'_Unlike James, he never gets nervous around girls_,' Logan thought, his lip curling slightly. "Do you think I'm handsome?" Riley's eyebrow twitched at the sudden change of topic and the way that it was asked.

"You're _all_ handsome, Logan," she replied.

"You don't call me that," Logan stated after a moment of silence. "You call James that all the time."

"It's his nickname, just like yours is Logie-Bear, Kendall's is Hockey-Head, and Carlos's is Care-Bear," Riley replied, counting off on her fingers. "We all give you nicknames as a sign of affection and friendship and it's based off particular things about you." She then raised her eyebrows. "You're not…_jealous _of James are you?"

Logan wrinkled his nose and shook his head. "You've got an Ace bandage?" Logan held out his hands and wiggled his fingers. Riley smirked at him and raised an eyebrow. "Stupid question, I know, Wed MD."

"Hold on," Riley replied, getting to her feet. "James, feel free to stop whenever you want."

"Are you a few sheep short of the herd?" Patrick asked in his thick Australian accent, giving Riley an 'Are-you-crazy-look?'. "I've never seen anyone go this long. _We've_ never been able to go this long."

"Just start stretching," Riley stated, rubbing her temples as she carried a black bag over to Logan. "First Aid Kit, Logie-Bear."

"Would you _please_ stop calling me that?" Logan asked as Carlos burst out laughing.

"You don't hear Carlos complaining about us calling him Care-Bear," Rhuben replied, rotating her ankle, making a face of pain every few turns. "He loves it and he gives great hugs."

"That I do," Carlos replied with a grin as Sydney giggled.

"Yeah, well, I'd give anything to stop being called Hockey-Head," Kendall replied, shooting Riley an annoyed look.

"You know you love it," Riley replied as Logan took the bag and got to his feet.

"Doctor Mitchell are your service," Logan stated, dropping down in front of Rhuben. She chuckled and placed her foot into his lap. "What happened to your ankle?"

"Landed on it wrong during a performance," she replied, brushing her hair out of her face with her shoulder. She jerked her foot back as Logan grabbed onto it.

"Ah, so you're still ticklish," Logan said with a smile as she placed her foot into his lap again. "That's good to know." He gently started to wrap her foot tightly but as comfortable as possible. "You didn't limp or anything."

"_Never show your pain_," Rhuben recited, lowering her voice. "Or any emotion for that matter." A bitter tone was inching into her voice, allowing her accent to show. "That's what dad…Robert always said and I've always listened to him. It's really come back and bit me in the ass though."

Logan blinked and peered up at her. She stared back at him, her face voice of emotion. He really hated that about her. "What do you mean?" he asked quietly.

"I hate talking about my feelings, you know that," Rhuben replied as Logan then fastened a metal clip onto the last end of the bandage to keep it around her ankle. He lightly tapped her foot and she started to rotate it. "Unfortunately that's lead me to become kinda of a phobia, but not just to me, to all of us. We joke around and call it Emotiaphobia."

"Well, with your background, I can see why it would be hard for you," Logan stated, tapping her foot again, telling her to stop moving her foot. "Tell me if this hurts." Logan stated, firmly grabbing her foot, placing his thumbs on the sole of her feet before gently pushing her foot back. "You can't rush it though. I mean, you probably won't ever fully get over it, but just know that we're all here for you guys." Rhuben wrinkled her nose and made a noise of pain. Logan apologized before he stopped pushing on her foot.

"See that's what I meant," Rhuben commented, waving her hand in the air. "I didn't even tell you that that hurt."

"Actually you did, just not with words," Logan corrected her. "But like I said. We are here for you guys." He then gave her a warm smile. "I always have been and I always will be."

"I know," Rhuben replied, giving a peaceful smile. "Thanks, Logie." Logan couldn't help but grin. The smile was genuine and he could tell because for the first time in a long time he saw the sparkle in her eyes.

"You're welcome."

* * *

><p><strong>Don't worry, you're going to be seeing chapters from other people's point of view. And this was just the beginning of more Lella fluffiness to come! And I'm thinking about keeping the diary entry thing at the beginning of each chapter. What do you guys think? Hope you guys liked it! ^-^<strong>

**Oh, and I'm just curious about this. Do you guys actually keep up with our twitter (whether you have one or not) to see when we'll be updating stuff and for announcement for our fics and stuff?**

**Cheers,**

**Rhubes**


	5. Google

**~Google~**

* * *

><p><em>June 28th 2010<em>

_Technology. The internet. Google. They're all amazing things, aren't they? I remember a time when I was never on the computer. I was always outside, or reading. Good times, but now times are even better. Without technology I wouldn't be able to become a doctor. But in the meantime this is what I love doing and I'm helping James as well. Besides, no one cares about how doctors look as long as they can help you._

_Right?_

_-Logan Mitchell_

* * *

><p>Logan sat on his bed, on his computer. Luckily, Kelly had convinced Gustavo to let them have a day off after the past two days of hard work. He was appreciative of the day off and spent it sleeping in (which was unlike him), watching TV with his friends, stopping fights that James and Carlos always inevitably get into, did his homework, and just relaxed.<p>

Normally, he would've spent the day hanging out with his oldest friends, Riley and Rhuben, or with their whole family, but they had to work that day. He had shook his head in wonder at that. He had no idea how they had enough time in the day to do everything they did in a single day. They were such hard workers and it showed through their music. He was happy they were so successful and it was refreshing to him, and gave him hope, that no matter how he and his friends did in the music business, that they could stay grounded and level-headed.

He wasn't so sure about James, but that was a different issue.

But, having this day off also gave him more time to try and start planning out how he was going to get into shape. He opened a new tab on Firefox and brought up Google to start a new search. "How to get in shape fast," Logan said aloud as he typed in the words. He clicked through a few links, before trying a new search. "How to lose weight quickly?"

He opened a few of the links in a new tab and started reading through them.

_Losing weight is a simple mathematical formula: You need to burn more calories than you eat._

"Burn more calories than you eat," Logan repeated, eyes narrowing. "So, if I exercise more than I eat, then it'll negate the calories I took in." He set his computer aside and climbed off his bed, heading over to his desk. He slid a draw open and grabbed a notebook and a pen, quickly scribbling down what he just read. He then jumped back onto his bed and pulled his computer into his lap.

_Experts generally recommend creating a deficit of 500 calories per day through a combination of eating fewer calories and increasing physical activity. Over the course of a week, this should yield a loss of about 1-2 pounds of fat. If you want to lose weight faster, you'll need to eat less and exercise more. Bottom line: 1,050 to 1,200 calories and one hour of exercise a day (but be sure not to dip below this calorie level for safety's sake). On this type of plan, you can expect to lose 3-5 pounds the first week, or more if you weigh over 250 pounds._

_You may lose even more weight initially if you limit salt and starches._

"That can't really be it though," Logan said to himself, sighing. "I mean, Carlos eats so much junk food and he barely gains a pound." He frowned as he quickly thought about Kendall and James's eating habits. "Kendall always gets organic food, but we all eat that and James…is a health nut."

Logan sighed heavily and scrolled through the page after page of tips, making sure to write things down such as:

**_Watch what you eat:_**_ Keep a watchful eye on every thing that goes in. Sometimes the garnishes can richer than the food itself. Accompaniments too can be very rich. Remember that it is the easiest thing in the world to eat something without realizing that it was something that you should not have eaten. Selective memory you know'_

**_Eat only when you are hungry_**_. Bonus how to lose weight fast tips here– (make sure you are not just thirsty!) Some of us have the tendency to eat whenever we see food. We use parties as an excuse to stuff our selves. Understand that the effect of a whole week of dieting can be wasted by just one day's party food. Whenever you are offered something to eat do not decline it completely bit just break of a nibble so that you appear to mind your manners and at the same time can watch your diet._

**_Count the calories as you eat._**_ To lose weight fast it's a good idea to have an idea of the calories that most food items have. If it is a packed thing then the label is sure to have the calories that the substance has._

**_Be sure to burn out those extra calories by the end of the week_**_. If you feel that you have consumed more calories than you should have during the week, it happens you know, and then make sure that you work off those extra calories by the end of the week._

And other things like that. He smiled and nodded, happy with himself of the list he came up with. "This should be able to help me," he said as he quickly read everything over. "I should be toning myself in no time." He then paused and tapped his chin. '_Maybe I should ask James to make me an exercise routine. I don't have to tell him what it's for. He and the rest of the guys, and the Jacksons too, will be surprised at my change. No one will be calling me 'cute' anymore._'

He grinned and opened a new tab and entered in the search bar, _Tips on How to Lose Weight Fast_. He smacked the ENTER key with his thumb and clicked on the first link that came up. As soon as the words, _just stop eating_, came up on the screen, he closed his computer and shook his head. '_I'm definitely not going to do that_.'

"Hey, Logan!" Logan jumped, glancing up at Kendall who was leaning in the doorway. He closed his computer and quickly shut his notebook, stuffing it behind his pillow. "We're going to head over to the mall. The Jacksons are going to meet us there. You coming?"

"Sure, let me just grab my shoes." Logan replied, suddenly realizing how hungry he was. "There's a pretzel there calling my name." _With no salt or butter of course_.

* * *

><p><strong>Yes, a short chapter. I think you've got the gist of this one and it was meant to be short. Starting next chapter you'll see things happening from other people's point of views and will also be the start of more Lella fluff. <strong>

**I'm definitely going to be putting Kiley in this story. But are there other pairings you want to see or do you think I should focus more on the angst of this story?**

**Cheers,**

**-Rhubes**


	6. Alone Time

**~Alone Time~**

* * *

><p>"It's about time!" was the first thing that reached BTR's ears as they walked up to the fountain in the middle of the mall. Patrick, who was previously standing on the edge, jumped down to the mall floor. "We're wasting valuable video game shopping time."<p>

"We wouldn't be late if James wasn't wasting time trying to make himself look decent in the mirror," Katie commented, jerking her thumb in the direction of the tallest boy.

"Hey, it takes time to look like I do," James replied, running his fingers through his hair.

"And it's worth it I'm sure," Jo Taylor, actress and musician, commented with a smirk as she rolled her eyes. "What with more than half the female population swooning over you guys."

When she first arrived at the Palm Woods all the boys liked her and were immediately in a competition with each other to see who she would choose. They had even written the song _Any Kind of Guy_ about her. But, she had told them that she had a boyfriend, which was a lie, so she wouldn't A; break up their friendship and B; stray from her path of becoming an actress. Once Kendall discovered the lie, she apologized and they have been good friends since.

"Careful, Jo, you don't want to make his ego even bigger," Camille Roberts commented with a small laugh as James frowned. "Oh, relax, James, we're just kidding.

Like Jo, Camille was an actress, but she was more into it than her blond haired friend. She would walk around dressed up like the role she was shooting for acting out everything she had to memorize. On more than one occasion did she slap Kendall, James, Carlos, and Logan. Their cheeks were still a little rosy because of it.

"Yeah, we think your ego is lovely," Stephanie King commented with a small laugh. "Much like everything else about you."

Stephanie King rounded out the group of friends. Everyone met her when scary things started happening around the Palm Woods. She was behind it all, making things move and swiftly closing doors with fishing lines, all because she was making a really, _really_ low budget horror film. Stephanie wanted to be a director and used every opportunity she could, within reason, to video tape everything. Her specialty was documentaries.

"Why thank you, ladies," James replied, giving a warm smile as he bowed. "And might I say, you all look lovely this afternoon."

"Thanks, James," the girls chorused as Kendall, Carlos, Logan, and Katie rolled their eyes.

"See what I have to deal with?" Katie asked, throwing her arms into the air. "James takes even longer than me in the bathroom!" Noah merely cracked an amused, yet apologetic, smile at her ordeal. "And that's saying something."

"If we're all done talking, the candy store awaits!" Carlos cried, grabbing Stephanie's arm, making his way across the mall.

"Wait for me," Sydney called, rushing after the two of them, latching onto Stephanie's hand.

"Ooh, I could use some candy as well," Patrick said as he rubbed his stomach. "Count me in, what about you guys?"

"Nah, I'm going to check out the skate store and then Ronan asked me to look for some things in Radio Shack," Riley replied with a shake of her head. "But if you're going to go, bring Noah with you so he can stop you guys from getting too much candy."

"Your loss," Patrick shrugged before turning to Katie and Noah. "Come on, we can hit Game Stop afterwards." He patted his pockets to make sure he had his cell phone in his wallet before waving to the rest of the group. "Hoo roo."

"So, what do you guys want to do?" Kendall asked, turning back to the rest of the group.

"I'm going to get a head start on birthday shopping for James's gift," Rhuben replied and James' ears perked up as an excited look crossed his face. "I have a few things in mind, but I want to check their prices first."

"Ok, well, Logan can go with you to help you out and the rest of us will keep an eye on James so he won't sneak off, and we'll just wander around the mall," Riley suggested, crossing her arms over her chest.

"That works out great," Jo said with a small squeal, clasping her hands together. "There was this cute dress I saw in a magazine and I want to try it on and get you guys' opinions on it."

"Meet back here at the fountain, yeah?" Riley asked, glancing at her watch. "Ronan doesn't want us out too late."

"And by that he means he doesn't want you to spend too much on his credit card, am I right?" Kendall asked, raising his eyebrows. Riley grinned as she wave the chunk of plastic in the air. "That's what I thought."

"Let's get going then," James said as he ran his hands together. "If we're going to shop, we better get going. I have some more headshots I want to get done and I need more clothes."

"If you get any more clothes your closet is going to explode," Kendall commented with an eye roll as the two groups broke up, heading in opposite directions.

* * *

><p>Logan watched Rhuben as she stood at the counter of the store, like he often did. There were many times where he found himself staring at her. Whether or not she knew about it and the best part about it to him was that she never got freaked out about it. And she easily could. He knew she still wasn't over her abuse, and he didn't think she would ever really get over it, but while all that was happening, she was still willing to receive hugs from him, or compliments whether or not she hugged back or said thank you. He could tell she liked it.<p>

Rhuben's finger nervously tapped against the smooth counter and her hand was clenched around a slim, plastic piece of card – Ronan's credit card that she no doubt 'stole'. When the woman at the check-out asked for her card, she hurriedly swiped it and entered the pin. She smiled and thanked the woman before reaching for the bags.

"Would you like some assistance?" Logan asked, lowering his voice, puffing out his chest.

Rhuben raised an eyebrow at him and smirked. "I don't know, can your arms handle the weight?"

'_Ouch_' Logan thought his chest deflating slightly. "Well, I'm here anyway."

"Are you hungry? Let's get something to eat," she suddenly brought up, snatching Logan out of his thoughts. "I could really use some Maccas right now."

"You and your McDonald's," Logan chuckled, shaking his head as he followed her out of the store. "That's all you used to want to eat. And Ring Pops."

"They didn't have Ring Pops back in Australia," Rhuben replied, glancing at him over her shoulder. "That's only reason I hung out with you, y'know. Because you had Ring Pops."

"There are Ring Pops in Australia," Logan replied as Rhuben made her way up to the counter, quickly choosing what she was going to order and telling it to the cashier.

"Not in Sydney," she replied with a shake of her head. "Before I ever had one, parents were complaining about how it looked when kids ate them and they weren't sold in stores again." Logan arched an eyebrow before really thinking about it. She laughed as she paid as a blush crept up Logan's cheeks. "Yeah, it took me a little bit to figure that out as well."

"So you've been using me all this time," Logan joked, making a tisking noise with his tongue. "Shame, shame, Bella."

"I was nine," Rhuben defended herself as she grabbed the tray that another worker set down in front of her. She grabbed a straw and the empty cup moving to the soda machine to fill it up. "And you had candy, you do the math. So why'd you hang out with Riles and I."

"'Cause you were nice," Logan replied and Rhuben snorted. "For the most part. And you helped me with that bully. I couldn't forget that."

"It's kind of an instinct we have," Rhuben shrugged as she put the top on her drink, grabbing the tray. "We don't tolerate people getting bullied. I guess since we couldn't stop our dad bullying us, we tried to pay it forward and help other people."

"Sorry, I didn't think I'd get this much stuff," Rhuben stated as she balanced the shopping bags on her arms, carefully carrying her food over to a table. She set the tray down onto the table and set her bags in the chair next to her before she started unpacking her food. "As you can see, I get carried away when it comes to shopping. Good things is I've knocked all the birthday shopping I need for the year out of the way."

"No worries. Holding your bags was a pleasure," Logan replied as he set the bags down next to the table before giving a mock bow. He then sat down across from her. "You didn't get anything for me, though."

"That's a surprise," Rhuben replied simply. "I don't want to spoil it for you. You don't want anything to eat?" She took a bite from her hamburger.

"Nah, I'm not hungry," Logan replied with a peaceful smile, shaking his head. He scototed his chair forward as his stomach let out a loud growl, trying to block out the sound. '_You can get something healthy to eat when you get home_.'

"I'm not going to allow you to pinch some of my chips off me," she replied, shaking her head, her blue eyes sparkling.

"Wouldn't dream of it," Logan said as he folded his hands on the table. "You'd bite my hand off."

"Wouldn't dream of it," Rhuben repeated with a smile.

"McDonald's isn't all that healthy for you, y'know," Logan commented, taking the box that her hamburger came in. "Even with the salads and fruit choices, this place isn't all that happy."

"Even the healthiest person in the world deserves a day to eat junk, Logie," Rhuben commented. "Besides, Maccas is like…my comfort food." She sighed, tapping the French fry in her hand with her index finger. "Dad always gave it to me when I did something he liked." She sighed and shook her head. "You're serious about this losing weight thing, aren't you?" Logan gave her a shocked look. "Riles told me."

"It wouldn't hurt," Logan commented, raising and lowering one shoulder, much like she and her siblings did. She noticed and couldn't help but smile.

"You're right," Rhuben agreed with a nod. "But, you don't need to. You're as skinny as a rail, perfect weight for your age I'd say. But, if you're trying to gain muscle mass, which you will do eventually, I don't see any problem with it. It'll definitely help you in the long run."

"So you think it's a good idea," Logan replied, slowly nodding. '_Just wait until she sees how I look. She won't be giving James a second thought_.' Rhuben peered at him, her eyes narrowing slightly. "That's good to know."

"Do you just want to do this or is it because of something else?" Rhuben asked slowly. Logan blinked. "I know it bothers you when I flirt with James."

"I never said that," Logan quickly replied, a blush coming to his cheeks. "I know it's your sense of humor and everything." He bowed his head and looked up at her through his fringe. "I just don't think James is your type really."

"He's not," Rhuben replied with a snort. Logan sat up a little straighter in his seat. "There's only so much of _The Face_ I can handle. But, he's still really sweet and gives good advice, and when he's not all about himself, he's a great person."

Logan nodded before blinking in surprise when a group of girls came rushing up to them, giggling, and smiling widely.

"Sorry to interrupt, but, can we get your autographs?" the tallest girl of the bunch asked, her mouth hidden behind a folder with a picture of Big Time Rush on it. "We love your guys music."

"We have your CDs too," the smallest girl added, blushing as Logan gave her a smile. She hid behind the tallest girl.

"Sure, sweetie, what's your name?" Rhuben asked, setting down her drink, wiping her salty hands off on her pants. She lifted the younger girl onto her lap to sign the pad of paper in her hands.

"Lilly," the girl replied. "And this is my sister, Elizabeth." She motioned to the tallest girl. "And that's Charlotte and Angela."

"It's nice to meet you," Logan replied as he took a notebook from Charlotte after she had dug it out of the purse she was carrying on her arm. "We're glad you like our music."

"You guys are so hot," Charlotte blurted out and immediately flushed red. "And your music is great. My favorite song is _Famous_. You guys can really dance too. Kendall is my favorite and then James."

'_Of course they are_' Logan thought, feeling his heart drop a little bit. But, he kept the smile on his face and continued to sign autographs. "Well, thank you for buying our CD. It means a lot."

"We listen to it all the time," Angela replied, clasping her hands behind her back. "Um, could we take a picture with you?"

"Sure," Logan replied, getting out of his chair. Rhuben followed suit and the two of them crowded around the four girls, smiling as Elizabeth held her call phone up in the air above her heads to take a picture.

"Thank you _so_ much," the girls gushed as the two musicians gave them hugs before sitting back down. The girls squealed as they hurried off.

"For the record," Rhuben commented, brushing her hair behind her ears. "Out of all the guys in Big Time Rush, you're my favorite."

Logan laughed. "That's only because I'm your best friend," he replied. '_You have no idea how much that means to me_.'

"Amongst other things," Rhuben mysteriously replied before resuming to eat her lunch.

'_Tell her, Logan. You don't know what she'll say until you tell her_!' Logan thought as he watched her, pressing his lips tightly together.

"Are you ok?" Rhuben asked, glancing up at him. "Do I have something on my face?"

"Yeah, you have some, ketchup," Logan replied before grabbing a napkin, gently wiping the red splotch off the side of her mouth. He felt his heart beat speed up his fingers brushed her lips. "There."

"Thanks," Rhuben replied, bowing her head, glancing up at him through her bangs, giving him a shy smile.

"You're welcome."

* * *

><p>"Hey, Hockey-Head, I need to talk to ya," Riley said as she practically kicked down the door leading to the swirly slide. She rested her arms on the siding of the structure and peered down at him as he silently tilted his head back on the head rest of the couch to look at her.<p>

"Don't you ever knock?" he asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Nah," Riley shrugged. "I'm not _that_ nice." She gave him a 'What-Can-I-Do?' look before making her way down the swirly slide.

Kendall snorted and got up from the couch, crossing his arms over his chest. "Last time I checked 'nice' wasn't in your vocabulary."

"It's not," Riley agreed with a short head bob as she got up from the floor. "Not normally anyway." She smirked and then clapped him on the shoulder. "What can I say; Eyebrows, you're starting to grow on me."

"That's good to know." Kendall blushed at what she said. He shifted his weight from foot to foot and reached his hands up to straighten his beanie. "So, what do you need to talk about?" Kendall asked, crossing his arms over his chest. "Or do you just want to spit out all of the nicknames you've come up for me?"

"Believe me, I have a lot of 'em, Kendall," Riley replied and Kendall raised his eyebrows.

"Must be serious," he commented. "You never call me Kendall."

Riley clicked her tongue. "Yeah, well, I was wondering," she trailed off a moment, looking as if she was thinking about her words carefully.

"Yeahh?" Kendall prompted, waving his hand in the air. '_She's never at a loss for words. She normally just comes out with whatever it is she has to say. It really must be serious_.'

"Logan's been acting weird," she suddenly said, getting straight to the point. She chuckled. "I mean, he's a weird guy anyway, but even more so." Kendall silently arched an eyebrow. "He's never worried about his looks before and all of a sudden he's trying to out-do James in the gym."

"I don't think you have anything to worry about, Riles," Kendall replied. "We all get tired of James being the big 'I Am' all the time. Every once in a while we try and put him in his place, that's all." He chuckled. "Although I'm pretty sure you guys have been doing that well enough for us. You were brutal at the gym."

"We don't joke around about staying in shape," Riley replied with a frown. "One of the many things we've inherited from dear old dad." Kendall noticed the bitter tone in her voice. She shook her head. "This just feels different. He asked if I thought he was handsome, because we call James that all the time." Her nose wrinkled. "He's not the jealous type to me. I've known him for years and Logie's pretty much a low key, mind his own business type of guy."

"We all get jealous every once in a while, but I get your point," Kendall replied. "Honestly, I don't think you have anything to worry about. He's probably just stressed out. Gustavo's been working us to the bone since our first album dropped."

"Still can't believe it debuted at number 3," Riley commented with a shake of her head. "And it peaked at number 12 in Australia as well." She slowly clapped as Kendall blew on his fingers nails before he buffed them on his chest. "Good on ya. You may be a threat to us yet." She tilted her head to the side. "I guess we're going to have to work a lot harder."

"You wouldn't be, _scared_ would you?" Kendall asked, tilting his head as well.

"Of four hockey playing boys from Minnesota?" Riley asked with a smirk. Her blue eyes twinkled mischievously, as her accent filled her voice. "You're the ants pants type of bloke aintcha?"

Kendall gave her a confused look and she laughed. "I'm glad to know I can make you laugh," he commented, half sarcastic and half being truthful.

He loved listening to her laugh. He remembered a time where she barely talked to him and it made him feel good about himself ot know that he was part of the reason of her complete change from being a closed off person to being open and happy to let anyone in.

"I really don't think you have anything to worry about with Logan," Kendall said, shaking his head. He quickly zoomed through the past week in his mind, thinking if there was anything out of the ordinary with him. '_He was kinda jumpy when I went to ask him if he wanted to go to the mall. I just must've scared him, that's all_.'

"Like I said, I just have a bad feeling about it," Riley replied with a shrug. "And you know how perceptive I am."

Kendall nodded. "Jackson Curse."

"Exactly," Riley replied, putting a finger to her nose for a brief moment. "So, what are you doing sitting in your apartment all by yourself?"

"Well, Katie is hanging out by the pool with Patrick, Noah, and Sydney," Kendall listed off, counting on his fingers. "And as you know Logan is still at the mall with Rhuben helping her find a birthday gift for James, and James and Carlos are in the park with Jo and Stephanie," Kendall finished. "Camille said she was spending the rest of her night memorizing lines. And my mom is listening to some tracks that Ronan produced that he's thinking of letting us use, Gustavo permitting. So, it's just me, myself, and I."

Riley glanced over at the TV. "Mighty Ducks vs Black Hawks," she commented. "Mind some company?"

Kendall cracked a grin. "I think I can make some room on the couch." He opened his arm out to the side and Riley took a seat on the orange couch, propping her feet up on the table in front of her as Kendall dropped down next to her. "So, did you plan out how you were going to try and force Logan and Rhuben to spend time together or was that a spur of the moment type thing?"

"It doesn't hurt to give Logan a push in the right direction every now and then," Riley replied with a shrug, a smirk coming to her face. "Even a monkey could figure out how much he likes her. He's just too scared to act on his feelings."

"So, you would give up the time all three of you guys use to hang out to try and set the two of them up?" Kendall asked, crossing his arms over his chest as he sunk into the couch. "That's nice of you."

"What can I say, I'm a sucker for romance," Riley replied with a shrug.

"Really?" Kendall asked, surprised. "Miss Jackson, you're really hard to figure out."

"Is that a good thing or a bad thing, Mr. Knight?" Riley replied, arching an eyebrow.

"Well, it depends on the person," Kendall replied and Riley turned to look at him. "Some guys would just give up when the going gets tough." He smiled at her. "But you know me, I don't give up that easily."

"And I'm still trying to figure out whether or not I like that bout you," she commented.

Kendall bumped her shoulder with his own and repeated her words from before, "You know you love it." Riley laughed.

* * *

><p><strong>And there's a little bit of Kiley for you guys! I hope you guys liked this chapter. Next chapter will start seeing more of everyone else and it'll be in a new person's point of view. Who's do you want it to be in?<strong>

**Cheers,**

**Rhubes**


	7. Of Crushes and Apple Pie

**~Of Crushes and Apple Pie~**

* * *

><p>"Hey, where's Logan?" Kendall asked the next morning, running his fingers through his messy hair. He dropped into the chair nearest him and smiled in thanks at his mom as she set down a plate of scrambled eggs and toast in front of him. He let out a loud yawn. "He's not in our room."<p>

"He went to work out," Katie replied, setting down her glass of orange juice. "He left a while ago." Kendall made a noise of surprise and she looked over at him. "Dang, big bro! You look horrible."

"Thanks," Kendall groaned, reaching for the piece of toast before bringing it to his mouth, taking a large bite out of it. "I thought a nap would be a good idea since I couldn't get to sleep. Logan was up on his computer until two in the morning."

Katie smirked at him as Mrs. Knight moved to take her seat at the kitchen table. "You and Riley didn't seem to have a problem sleeping earlier," she stated in a sing song voice.

Kendall briefly paused in his chewing as he felt his face burn. He knew he was blushing and he knew what she was getting at. The day before Riley had come over that evening to watch the hockey game with him, after getting some advice from him, and before he knew it the two of them had fallen asleep on the couch; her snuggled up against his side and he had his head resting on top of hers.

He didn't have the heart to wake her up and send her home, but he knew she had an early start to a busy day the next day (not that any of her days wasn't that busy). But, he knew he wasn't going to hear the end of it from everyone else.

"Nothing happened," he muttered before shoving the rest of the slice of toast in his hand into his mouth. "Is this really what we're having for dinner, mom?"

"We believe you, sweet heart," Mrs. Knight commented, placing a hand on her son's arm. Katie snorted. "And I haven't had enough time to go get groceries this week. I'm also trying this new idea, chicken wrapped with bacon, smothered in cream cheese."

"That sounds good, mom," Kendall said with a smile, turning towards the oven. He could see rows of circular shaped objects sitting on a pan.

"Well, _I_ don't," she replied. "We all know how much you like her! You guys were here _alone_! You can't possibly tell me nothing, _at all_, happened."

"Believe it, baby sister, nothing happened," Kendall replied. "Where're James and Carlos?"

"Following the Jennifers around the pool," Katie replied. "The idiots."

Kendall rolled his eyes as well. He wasn't sure how many times a day she complained about the four of them being loud, noisy, and pathetic (sometimes she substituted the word idiots). But he knew that she loved having them around and wouldn't want to change it for anything in the world. And he wouldn't want to change that either. He loved having her around.

"So, mom, how do you tell the girl you like that you like them?" Kendall asked, turning to face his mother. He briefly closed his eyes. "And please come up with something other than the 'Just Be Yourself' line."

"There's nothing else I can say besides that," Mrs. Knight replied with a shake of her head. "As it is the most important thing." She gave him a pleased smile. "Are you planning on tell her?"

"Planning being the key word there," Kendall replied. "I haven't found the best time to do it and it's not that easy. She's not an easy person to tell this kind of stuff too."

"Kendall, she's a _girl_!" Katie cried, shaking her head. "Even the toughest girls like hearing that guys like them. Just tell her and stop being a wuss."

"Thanks, baby sis, that really helps," Kendall commented, rolling his eyes. He reached for his phone as it vibrated against the table. He tapped the screen with his thumb and opened the new text message he received. Quickly reading it, he turned towards his mom. "Hey, the Jacksons want to come over for dinner if that's alright. They're asking if they could bring anything. Riley made a few pies today."

"Well, that's nice of them," Mrs. Knight replied, giving a nod as Katie shouted "yes", her eyes widened.

She loved apple pie. But, Kendall didn't know if she was more excited for the pie or because Patrick and Noah were coming over. She wouldn't admit it (not now at least), but Kendall was pretty sure that she had crushes on both of them.

"I'm telling the guys now," Kendall replied, his thumbs flying over the keypad of his phone. "Did they get a chance to eat before they left?"

"James and Carlos, yes," Katie replied, with a slight shake of her head. "They're the reason why we're practically out of food; the pigs!" She waved her arms in the air. "I mean, it's Friday for crying out loud! We always have fish sticks, but they ate them for lunch."

"Calm down, Katie," Kendall chuckled.

"Logan was in a rush to get to the gym and said he'd eat later," Mrs. Knight added. "Remember, James had made up a work out routine for him and Rhuben said she'd help him out today."

'_He must've jumped at the chance for her to help him_' Kendall thought with a snort. '_Can't really tease him about that though, considering I do the same thing just to spend time with Riley_.' He sighed before starting in on his eggs.

* * *

><p>"Logan!" Riley called, an annoyed look shooting through her blue eyes as she pursed her lips.<p>

The Jacksons ended up coming over like they asked, brining a pie with them. Noah quickly explained that Ronan had taught them that it was polite to bring something over to a friend's house even if it wasn't asked of them, out of courtesy.

James, Carlos, and Logan came back up to apartment 2J in time to try Mrs. Knight's new food experiment, getting rave reviews for it. Logan was the only one it affected. He had gotten through half of one before he was in the bathroom throwing up, stating that it just didn't sit well with his stomach. It was then that Mrs. Knight went into "Mama Bear Mode" and grabbed her keys to go to the grocery store to not only pick up some Pepto Bismol, but to get other groceries as well. They all promised to save her a piece of pie.

Kendall's lips twitched into a smile when she jutted out a hip, plopping her hand on it, tapping her right foot up and down. "LOGIE!" She started snapping her fingers. Logan continued to stare off into space. "EARTH TO LOGIE-BEAR!"

"Wha-what?" Logan jumped as soon as he heard the nickname. He didn't forget to flinch, as he always did whenever he heard his childhood nickname from her. "Oh, sorry Landy. What were you saying?"

"I asked if you wanted some apple pie," Riley repeated, the annoyed look immediately leaving her face as soon as she heard _his_ nickname for _her_. "Hockey-Head, go get the milk for me."

"Sure," Kendall replied, frowning as he set down the plates he had just removed from the kitchen cupboard.

He knew that Riley and Logan were best friends, and that was all, but it still bothered him from time to time with how close they were. Sure, he could easily say that he was the one closest to her out of him, Carlos, and James, and he was close with Sydney as well, as the small boy looked up to him like another brother, but from time to time he didn't know where he stood with her.

Were they just friends, best friends, good friends? He didn't know and he knew not to ask her about it as she would either A: avoid the subject completely, or B: do what she was best at; answering a question with a question, prompting him to come up with the answer.

"Nah, I'm not hungry," Logan replied, shaking his head before reaching for his half-empty water bottle on the table. "Thanks though."

"Dude! You don't know what you're missing!" Carlos cried, hovering over the apple pie as Riley started to cut it. He bounced from foot to foot in anticipation. "It smells so good."

"You can't possibly tell me you don't want any of Beautiful's famous apple pie," James shook his head back and forth. "I mean, you've rattled on forever and ever about I before we had our first bite of it."

"I'm not hungry," Logan repeated, shaking his head. "I'm still shaky from dinner. I don't think I can stomach it." He laid his hands across his stomach, shrugging.

Sydney giggled from his spot on the floor in front of Logan, playing with a Nintendo DS. "Your stomach is louder than Carlos's and that's saying something!"

"Hey! It is not!" Carlos cried. Rhuben silently raised an eyebrow at the hockey-helmet wearing teenager over her drum magazine. She was sitting catty-cornered on the orange couch, her feet resting against Logan's thigh. "OK fine, maybe it is."

Rhuben nudged Logan with her big toe. "It might do you some good to eat," she commented. Logan opened his mouth to protest but she quickly cut in. "I'm just saying! I mean, you did throw up your dinner, your body's probably just craving more nutrients." She tilted her head to the side. "With how well you did with your workout this morning, I think you should reward yourself."

"And you love my apple pie," Riley added, sliding a slice onto Carlos's plate.

"Which is ironic since _you_ hate apple pie," Kendall commented, setting the milk jug on the counter. "Katie, do you want any?"

"Not right now," Katie replied, never taking her eyes off the TV screen that she, Patrick, and Noah were currently playing a game of _Time Splitters_. "I'm trying to prove to them that I can beat them 20 games in a row."

"Which you can't do," Patrick replied, his thumbs pressing hard onto the buttons. But, he paused the game before turning and giving Riley a wide, toothy smile. "Riiiiles?"

"Whaaaat?" Riley replied in the same tone.

"Could you bring me some pie?" he asked and Noah elbowed him in the side. "And Noah too?"

"What do I look like, a maid?" Riley asked, her eyebrows raised. She rolled her eyes when her siblings all replied, "Yes" at the same time. "Alright, just hold on a minute." She slapped James's hand away from the apple pie as he tried to cut an even bigger slice of pie than was pre-cut. "If you get a bigger piece than I assign to you, Handsome, you're going to get fat."

"I think I'll risk it tonight, Beautiful," James replied with a wink. "I'll gladly get fat off your cooking."

"I guess I should take that as a compliment, yeah?" Riley asked, with a laugh.

"I doubt he'd get fat for anyone else," Kendall muttered under his breath. Riley shot him a look which he quickly averted. "I'll get the pies for your brothers."

"Kay," Riley replied slowly, her eyes narrowing.

Kendall tried hard not to look at her as she set the piece of apple pie, and a fork, onto each plate. He knew that the minute he did look at her, she would ask what was wrong or astound him with the fact that she already knew what was wrong with him. Both cases annoyed him and made him like her even more. It just showed that she meant what she always said: "I put others before myself."

A lot of things had been bothering him recently; Gustavo constantly breathing down their throats, the fact that he was falling behind on his schoolwork (not that he cared _that much _about it) trying to find time to spend with Katie, keeping an eye on Logan to prove to Riley that nothing was wrong, and most importantly, Riley. If asked, he would admit that a good 6/10 thoughts that ran though this mind was about her.

Right now, that problem was how everyone had an endearing nickname from her, except him. He was happy with the fact that for a while he was the only one with a nickname, but even getting called Hockey-Head after a while got annoying. '_Is that the only thing she sees in me? A hockey player?' _he thought as he gave the twin teenage boys their desired pie. '_Surely she can see I'm much more than that_.'

"I just don't want to break my diet, the first day in," Logan replied, giving a lazy shrug. "That's all."

"Logan, everybody on a diet deserves a day to reward themselves, even if it _is_ the first day," James commented, jostling his friend with his elbow. "Just follow my workout regime for you and you'll be in shape in no time." He then chuckled and grasped his plate and fork with one hand, flexing his muscles. "Of course we all know none of you guys are going to break my bench pressing record anyway."

"Well, if you _want_ to be known as _The Hulk_ for the rest of your life," Riley let the sentence hang in the air, a smirk on her face. James rolled his eyes before continuing with his pie. "Logie-Bear, you look kind of pale. Do you want some Ginger Ale or something to settle your stomach?"

"No, I'm fine," Logan replied, shaking his head. "I'm just a little tired, that's all. That work out just took out more of my energy than I thought. I'm probably going to go to bed early."

"Aw, is Logie-Bear tired?" Carlos teased in a baby voice. "We should tuck him into bed with his baby bwanket and his ba-ba." He snickered and slapped James a high five.

Logan rolled his eyes. "Chillax, man, we're just kidding," James commented. "A good night's sleep helps with what you're doing anyway. More energy for you to do more."

"Right," Logan slowly nodded.

"Logan, I can see you checking out that pie," Rhuben commented, a teasing lilt to her tone. "If you want some, just eat some. It's not going to kill you." Logan shook his head, again saying that he was ok.

"I'll probably just get an apple or something later," he replied, giving her a smile before grabbing one of her feet, starting to massage it.

"If he doesn't want any, he doesn't have to have it," Kendall commented in a slightly scolding tone as he dropped down into a chair. "It's not going to help goading him into it."

"Relax, Hockey-Head, it's just because he's never turned down my apple pie before," Riley commented, taking another empty seat. "What's got your boxers in a bunch lately?" She then paused and tilted her head to the side. "And to go back to your other comment, I don't like apple pie because I don't like how mushy they get."

"If you don't like apple pie you're not American," Kendall commented. Riley arched an eyebrow.

"Well that works out, considering I'm an Aussie," she replied, her thick accent quickly filling her voice. Kendall chuckled, shaking his head before getting himself a slice of pie and pouring himself a glass of milk. "You didn't answer my question."

"You barely ever answer mine," Kendall replied around a mouthful of pie. "So, I don't think I have to."

"Touchy, touchy," Riley replied crossing her arms over her chest. "Everybody's getting the irrits today aren't they?"

Kendall wrinkled his nose before swallowing. "Everybody has their bad days," he shrugged. "We've gotta thank Kelly for giving us the weekend off. Gustavo would've definitely ran us into the ground."

"According to Ronan, ever since your guys's album came out, he's been obsessed with keeping you guys up there," Riley replied, brushing her hair out of her face. She grabbed a chunk with her fingers and held it out in front of her face. "I think I need to get my hair cut."

"Don't, it' looks great that way," Kendall immediately replied, with a shake of his head. Riley shrugged. "Where is Ronan anyway? I thought he was coming."

"Just like every night this week, he had a last minute meeting," Riley replied, leaning back in her chair, locking her hands behind her head. "We haven't really gotten a chance to see him except for when we're in the studio." Kendall made a noise of sympathy with his mouth. Riley peered at him. "Sorry, I know that the subject of dads is sore for you."

"No worries," Kendall shook his head as soon as he swallowed. "I'm happy for you guys. Ronan is a great guy." Silence fell over the two of them as he started to pick at his plate. '_She's right though_' he thought with a sigh, suddenly losing his appetite. '_Just get over it, Kendall. It doesn't make anything better if you obsess over it_!' "Why does Logan want to go on this diet anyway?"

"He just said that he wanted to gain some muscle mass that's all," Riley replied with a shrug.

Kendall peered at her, eyes narrowing slightly. He couldn't even begin to imagine how many secrets the two of them had kept for each other. He didn't know what it was, but something just felt off to him about that statement. '_Since when is Logan worried about muscle mass? He's pretty fit with years of playing hockey_' he thought, continuing with his pie.

"You haven't played hockey in a while, Hockey-Head," Riley commented, once again, startling him. "You guys probably aren't as in shape as you were when you played all the time. Although the dancing does help."

"What, are you a mind reader?" Kendall asked. He shook his head. "No, I know, you're just perceptive."

"A gift and a curse I'd say," Riley replied with a one-shouldered shrug. "So, what's bothering you?"

" Nothing," Kendall replied. Riley gave him a look, not believing what he just said. "Seriously, nothing's wrong. "You coming by the studio tomorrow?"

"That depends," Riley replied, a smirk coming to her face. "You going to have a story to tell me?"

"Too right," Kendall replied in his best Australian accent.

Riley laughed, "Bonzer," she replied with a smile.

Kendall smiled in reply. Even when he was feeling the worst all he had to do was gt her to smile and he felt a million times better. Now all he had to figure out was to tell her hour he felt.

'_But, that's easier said than done_' he thought, busying himself with his dessert. He glanced over at Logan when he heard a loud shriek and turned to see Rhuben trying to pry Logan's arm from around her legs as he used his free hand to tickle the soles of her feet. He chuckled, shaking his head.

"Logan's feelings for her stands out like dog's balls," Riley commented. Kendall choked on his mouthful of milk and started coughing, beating himself on the chest with his fist as Riley watched with amusement. "Happens every time," she commented. "That means, it's obvious that Logan likes her." She then turned to face him. "Like it's obvious that you like someone too."

Kendall raised his eyebrows. "Am I that easy to read?" he asked and Riley nodded. "Huh."

"Are you going to tell me who it is or am I going to have to drag it out of you?" Riley asked, crossing her arms over her chest.

Kendall gave her a smile. "You're perceptive, you figure it out." Riley rolled her eyes and got up from her seat to join her friends, wiggling in between Logan and James. Kendall watched her go, letting out a heavy sigh. '_Nice job_.'

* * *

><p>Kendall woke up in the middle of the night. He rolled onto his back, staring up at the ceiling, letting out a breath of air, trying to figure out why he woke up. He didn't have a nightmare. He rolled onto his side and noticed that Logan wasn't in his bed. Kendall's eyebrows knitted together before he let out a yawn, running his hand over his face.<p>

He got up pushed his covers back and got up out of bed, slowly making his way out of the room. He made his way through the kitchen and towards the bathroom, nearly bumping into Logan as he was making his way out.

"Hockey pucks, don't scare me like that!" Kendall whispered, his hand over his rapidly beating heart.

"_You _scared me," Logan replied, his hand over his heart as well. "What are you doing up?"

"A guy has to piss every now and then," Kendall replied. "Are you ok? Is your stomach still bothering you?

"Just a little bit," Logan replied, rubbing his hand over his stomach, frowning. "I think that bacon was going or something." He stepped to the side, allowing Kendall room to get into the bathroom. "Lucky for me, wanting to be a doctor, I know how to settle my stomach. I should be fine in the morning."

"Are you going to get up to work out again?" Kendall asked. "Wanna come to the rink and shoot the puck around with me?" He felt himself blush as he prepared himself for his next question, and he was glad that it was dark in the room. "I, uh, need to talk to you about…um, stuff."

"About Landy?" Logan asked, immediately getting to the point. Logan chuckled. "Man, you've got it bad."

"I could say the same to you," Kendall replied, feeling a grin crossing his face. Logan muttered something about needing to get sleep and hurried off, leaving Kendall to laugh at him as he flipped on the bathroom light, closing the door behind him.

As he opened the toilet lid, his gaze wandered over to the trashcan, and something tan colored caught his eye. He pushed some of the paper towel around, noticing a yellow-ish/orange stain on it (he also made sure not to physically touch it as at the time he didn't know what it was) and spotted the remains of pie crust.

"He must've really wanted that pie," Kendall commented with a shake of his head. He quickly used the bathroom then went back to sleep.

* * *

><p><strong>And another long chapter for you guys. I decided to write this one from Kendall's point of view. Anything from anyone else's point of view, besides Logan, will have that as a main, yet side plot to the chapter, if that makes sense. I'll try and update this again soon.<strong>

**Cheers,**

**-Rhubes**


	8. Irony

**~Irony~**

* * *

><p><em>It's hard to truly pinpoint when and where my eating disorder started. I knew after my first performance I wanted a change; I didn't want to be "Adorable Logan Mitchell." I was tired of her calling me Logie-Bear, but I knew she did it out of affection. It kills me to say this, or to even think it, but I truly believe she's partly to blame. She never said I was sexy, or hot, or anything like that (looking back on that now, she probably just never said it to my face) and it bothered me for she could easily roll that off the tongue when talking to James or joking around with Kendall and Carlos.<em>

_For as long as I can remember, I have liked her. No, I've loved her. My mom has always told me that I was in love with her, even before I knew what love was. But, I know now. It took me up until I almost lost her, I almost lost myself, and for her to write that ugly song about me to realize how much I needed her, how I couldn't live without her by my side._

_If only I had had more confidence like them. I don't know where they got it from but it was obvious they had a lot of it. Me? I was only confident in my school work. Sure, that allowed me to work my way into being her study partner, but I think I studied her more than my notes. I just wanted her to look at me like she did of her celebrity crushes, or just the other guys she passes on the street, with shirts so tight you can actually see their abs._

_I should've known all along she just wanted me for me and she was just as scared as I was. And most importantly, I should've known that she would've been the only one to truly understand what I was going through and that when she said she wanted to help, she truly meant it._

_I remember when it started getting out of control. But, I was too scared to ask for help. That's me anyway, Scared Little Logie-Bear. According to Carlos, I was "Scared of everything." But, that wasn't true, I mean, I was the one that gave the final decision for the teen crib being built into our apartment. And being scared and cautious are two different things anyway._

_But, I digress:_

_I was curled up into a ball at the foot of my bed; eyes clasped tightly shut as though protecting myself from the overwhelming sense of guilt spilling from my aching belly. I let out a small moan every now and then. But, I didn't want to be too loud. I didn't want to wake up Kendall and freak him out. But, looking back on it now, I wish I had woken him up. Kendall is one of my best friends, he's my brother, but not only that (in a kinda weird way) he was kinda like a father to James, Carlos, and I._

_Sometimes it was weird seeing him act that way considering his father was never around, but he showed it with how hard he worked for his mom, and how he always looked out for Katie. Maybe that's why Riley likes him. They were pretty much the same, living with a single parent, working to help with family bills, looking after a younger sibling. She made him happy, and he made her feel safe. I loved seeing them together._

_He was in control of his life._

_ I had no control._

_ It scared me. It was as though whenever I walked into the kitchen something would posess my body. I couldn't pass by the fridge without it dragging me forward, pressing me to have just another bite; just another taste of this and a little nibble of that…_

_ Of course, it only happened when I was alone. If there was someone else there, I was fine. The shame of such lack of control made me steer away from the kitchen while someone lurked there, but as soon as they left Iwould once again be drawn into the same pattern of feasting until my stomach hurt, just like it was now._

_ The worst part of it was that I had no idea how to end it; how could I possibly bring the horrid feasting episodes to a close? I couldn't even admit what I was experiencing, to myself or my family and friends. No one knew. And even if they did know, how could they possibly understand? They were never there when 'it' happened; there was no way they could ever protect me from myself or the habit I had developed._

_ And this was how I always ended up. It's funny though; I remember all those times I preached to my friends about how eating healthy foods were important. If it wasn't for me, Kendall and Mrs. Knight wouldn't have started buying organic foods._

_Ironic isn't it?_

_-Logan Mitchell_

* * *

><p><strong>And here's a short chapter for you. I wonder if you guys will be able to figure out the surprise I have for this story by the end. "The adults" won't appear that much in this story, but they will occasionally same with Camille, Jo, and Stephanie. Like I said, Kiley will be in this story, but it won't be as dominate as Lella and Logan's problems. Hope you guys liked this chapter.<strong>

**Cheers,**

**-Rhubes**


	9. Worry

**~Worry~**

* * *

><p>Logan stared hard at the computer screen, wondering why his paper wasn't writing itself.<p>

"Relax, Logie. You'll have time to finish it. You've got all of tomorrow, remember?" Riley said to him.

"No, I don't," Logan replied, rubbing his eyes. "I'm working out and we've got studio work tomorrow."

"You're really serious about this working out thing aren't you?" Riley asked, tilting her head to the side. Logan nodded, glancing over at her. "It's not going to make Rhubes like you better, y'know."

"That's—that's not why I'm doing it," Logan muttered, willing himself not to blush.

"Oh, no?" Riley repeated, raising her eyebrows. "I see the way you look at her when she and James are joking around, Logie. And that's all they're doing _joking around_." She shook her head. "Wasn't you that always told me that I should just be myself when it comes to trying to get Kendall's attention."

"Finally, you admit it," Logan commented with a small smile, reaching up to move a lock of her hair behind her ear.

"Only to you," Riley replied with a small smile. "And to answer my own question. Yes, it was you that's always told me that."

"I'm not doing it for Bella, Landy," Logan replied, shaking his head. "I'm doing it for me. Like _you_ said, getting some muscle mass and losing some weight won't hurt."

"Right," Riley replied with a nod. She pursed her lips. "Let's cook or something."

"The only thing I can cook is an omelet," Logan replied, turning to look at her. "I'll just end up getting in your way." He looked over at her when her phone vibrated. "Besides, I'm not hungry. I ate a big lunch before you came over."

"It's just as well," she commented, opening the text message on her phone. "Ronan wants us home. He's stuck in meetings for the rest of the day. I better go and start dinner then."

"Why don't you just stay here for dinner?" Logan asked.

"It's not Friday," Riley replied with a little laugh. Logan made a face, showing that it was true. Ever since the Jacksons had actually started opening up to Logan and his friends, they started eating dinner in the Palm Woods with them every Friday night. Plus, Ronan tended to have meetings at that time anyway, and it was a good way for Mrs. Knight to spend with his kids, and to make sure they didn't get into trouble. "No worries. I can tell you just want to finish your paper anyway."

"Sorry," Logan replied with a frown. "I wouldn't have invited you over if I knew you'd leave this early."

"No worries, Logie-Bear," Riley repeated as she got to her feet. "I shouldn't have tried to distract you from your paper anyway. We can hang out later."

"If you're sure," Logan replied, looking uncertain. Riley nodded, showing that she was fine with it before leaning over and giving him a kiss on the cheek. "Kendall should be back with Sydney from the park soon."

"Speak of the devil," Riley commented when the door opened and Kendall walked into apartment 2J, followed by Sydney who was holding a football in his hands. "Hey, Little Man, we've got to get going. Ronan wants us to home to start dinner. Did you have fun?"

"Yeah," Sydney replied, his dimples appearing in his cheeks as he bounced on his toes. "Thanks for taking me to the park, Kendall."

"No problem, Sydney," Kendall replied, laughing as the boy hugged his legs. "I was glad to take you." He took the football from Sydney and threw it into the air, easily catching it. "You done with your paper, Logan?"

"No, not yet," Logan replied with a sigh as he grabbed his computer. "I should be done by tonight, but I'm not leaving our room until I am."

"Ok, I'll tell you when it's dinner time," Kendall replied, setting the football down onto the table. He then looked over at Riley. "So…how're you today?"

"Fine," Riley replied as Sydney moved to her side. She raised her eyebrows. "What, no story for me today? Nothing about Gustavo or Bitters?"

"Surprisingly, no," Kendall replied, scratching at the back of his neck. '_Man, this is brutal_. _I've never had an awkward conversation around her before_.'

"Syd, could you go wait in the hall for a minute?" Riley asked, running her fingers through Sydney's hair. Sydney looked back and forth between the two of them and giggled before hurrying out of the room. "Ok, I'm not going to beat around the bush with this."

"When do you ever?" Kendall asked with a smirk. Riley crossed her arms over her chest. Kendall's eyebrows furrowed together when she didn't give a sassy comment back. "What's the matter?"

"Logan," Riley replied, tilting her head to their shared bedroom, lowering her voice. Kendall looked at her and she seemed uncomfortable. "Just…keep an eye on him, ok?"

"Uh, what?" Kendall asked, confused.

"Just, please, make sure he's ok," Riley replied, rubbing her arm, biting her lower lip. "I know it sounds weird, and I can't really give you reasons why, at least not yet, but I need you to trust me on this."

"Sure, whatever you say. You know I trust you," Kendall replied and gave a soft smile. His smile got a little wider when he saw the blush rise on Riley's cheeks. "But, what am I supposed to be looking out for?"

Riley pressed her lips together, sucking on her teeth before sighing, scratching her forehead. "Trust me when I say, you'll figure it out pretty quickly if you keep your eyes open."

"Why can't you be the type that just tells me everything straight out?" Kendall asked in a slightly annoyed tone.

"If I did that, your life wouldn't be challenging enough," Riley commented in a monotone, although Kendall could tell she wanted to smirk at him.

"Alright," Kendall replied with a nod. "I'll keep an eye out for him."

"Thanks," Riley replied, giving a small smile. She raised her hand and gave him and awkward wave. "I'll see you later then."

"See ya," Kendall replied, waving as well. "Um, wait a minute!"

"Yeah?" Riley asked, turning around to face him, sliding her hands into her back pockets.

"Uh…have a good day," Kendall replied, wincing at how lame he sounded. Riley slowly nodded before leaving the apartment. He sighed heavily, blowing his bangs off his forehead with a big breath of air. '_Smooth, Kendall_.'

"What was that about?" Sydney asked as Riley closed the door to apartment 2J behind her. She bent low to the ground and he climbed onto her back, wrapping his arms around her neck as she looped her arms under his legs, holding him still. "Did Kendall ask you out?"

"No, Hockey-Head didn't ask me out," Riley replied, shaking her head. She let out a heavy sigh. "No point in keeping this from you, you're just going to figure it out later. But, I think Logan is becoming _too_ obsessed with losing weight."

"What do you mean?" Sydney asked in a quiet voice. He hated hearing bad news about anybody.

"Well, you know how Logan wants to lose some weight?" Riley asked. She felt Sydney nod against her back. "Remember when Rhubes was the same way?" She heard Sydney give a small gasp.

"You don't think he's going to end up like Rhu-Rhu do you?" Sydney asked in a quiet voice. "I didn't like it when she was away. Logan wouldn't do that."

"It could happen to anyone, Syd," Riley replied. "Anyway, he was adamant about working on his paper, but I think that was a cover up. Because, when I went to take his computer from him, to stop him from working, I saw that he had 6 tabs open in Firefox all about losing weight." Sydney stayed silent. "It could be nothing, but I highly doubt that it is."

"What are we going to do?" Sydney asked.

"Well, I told Kendall to keep an eye on him," Riley replied. "I haven't told him why exactly, but I just have a bad feeling about this. Anytime you, Patrick, or Noah stay over, check to see if Logan's still eating and to see how much he goes to work out, ok?"

"Ok," Sydney replied. "I don't want Logan to be sick."

"Neither do I, Little Man," Riley replied, shifting his weight on her back. "When we get home we can tell Rhubes, Pat, and No. With all of us looking after him, we should be able to tell." She tried sounding upbeat. "I'm sure it's nothing, everything will be ok."

"If you say so."

* * *

><p>"Logan," Kendall said. "If something was bothering you, you would tell me, right?"<p>

Logan laughed. "Of course, Kendall!" He gave Kendall a peaceful smile. " You're my brother." He then frowned. "Why, what's up?"

_I could ask you the same thing_, Kendall thought. "Nothing. Just making sure everyone is all good. You've been tossing and turning in your sleep a lot lately."

"I just haven't been able to stay asleep for some reason," Logan replied with a shrug. "Everything's all good here. Don't worry." He glanced at the computer on his lap, then at the notebook, and then over at Kendall. "Just getting ahead with some homework. That's all." He faked a yawn and closed the computer lid, taking everything off his bed, setting it to the floor. He was tired, but he knew he wouldn't be able to sleep. "All good here. Now I'm exhausted, see you tomorrow morning, Kendall."

"'Night, Logie." Kendall laid back against his pillows before twisting the switch to his lamp, immediately shrouding the room in darkness. 10:48 pm. Kendall shrugged and went to sleep. But, he was woken up hours later, hearing weird sounds. He rolled over onto his side and opened his eyes.

Once his eyes adjusted, he saw that Logan's bed was empty, but then saw that he was on the floor. '_What is he doing_?' Kendall thought, stifling a yawn. He watched as Logan's form moved back and forth, erratic breathing filling the room. '_Sit ups?_'

He watched as Logan stopped after a few more backwards and forwards motions before getting back into his bed, pulling the covers tightly around him. '_What was that about_?' Kendall sighed heavily, cupping his hands behind his head, staring up at the ceiling. '_It must be something bad if Riles is worried_.'

* * *

><p><strong>So there's a little bit of LoganRiley friendship in there. I laughed when I made her keep telling Logan that he was boring. I've decided that this story is mainly going to focus on Kendall, Riley, Logan, and Rhuben, although it mainly mainly focuses on Logan and the Lella pairing. I know that's kinda unrealistic as you'd need to see James, Carlos, Katie, and Mrs. Knight's views on everything, but I think it'll turn out best this way.**

**So, I decided this story isn't going to be long. It's only going to be 15 chapters long. So, It's almost over already, only 6 chapters after this. Hope you guys liked this chapter.**

**Cheers,**

**-Rhubes**


	10. If I Stumble and I Fall

**~If I Stumble and I Fall~**

* * *

><p>All you could hear were the sounds of fast running on the treadmill and fast, heavy breathing in the Palm Woods gym. Logan wouldn't stop for his life, of course, no matter how hard it was getting. He'd become completely <em>addicted<em> to exercise. He couldn't go a day without it, or else he would feel bad about himself.

_'James goes the gym every day_'he would remind himself every time he thought about stopping. He knew he couldn't stop. Everyone was noticing. He could last longer on a bike, on the treadmill. He was finished the beach run faster than before. And he was losing weight. He had lost five pounds so far, but it was a great feeling for him. He was at 120. And it was awesome.

'_I can beat James. I'm so close. Beat James. You can look like him. Bella will like you more if you look like him_' he coached himself, breathing heavily. Grasping the handle with one hand, he used the other to increase his speed. His heart beat picked up immediately. '_What is it about him she likes so much? She never flirts with me. It's always "Nice abs, Handsome" and "Yeah, James, you're so hot" but she never says that stuff to you, does she?_'

He was feeling tired, his eyes were burning. He barely remembered the last time he wasn't staying up late, looking for more tips online. He couldn't remember the last time he had gotten a good night's sleep. He barely remembered anything that happened during the day. He was just anxiously waiting for the next time he could hit the gym.

But, he was enjoying it. Every day he would get compliments on how great he looked. '_And she had noticed as well_' he thought with a bright smile. He was over the moon the day Rhuben had noticed how trim he was getting. He always wanted to feel like that. He put his mind to it and everything else just started to fade away. Nothing was as important to him.

Suddenly, Logan's feet came from under him, and he nearly collapsed. Breathing heavily, he slapped the STOP button the machine and felt the belt underneath him slow down. "Wow, Logan, you were flying," he said in between deep breaths. He put a hand over his heart, feeling it beat rapidly. So hard, it was actually hurting a little bit. "That's the fastest you've gone." He grinned as he started stretching. "Let's see James do it that fast."

He straightened, breathing out a large breath of air and moved to get off the treadmill. He stumbled again, quickly grabbing onto the rails. He swallowed thickly and leaned against the machine, trying to catch his breath. His heart pounded in his chest and his hands started to shake. '_Woah, Logan. Maybe you overdid it a little_.'

* * *

><p><strong>Yes, another short chapter. I just wanted to show here Logan's thoughts on everything and how things were progressing.<strong>

**Cheers,**

**-Rhubes**


	11. Should I Get Up and Carry On?

**~Should I Get Up and Carry On?~**

* * *

><p><em>Isn't it weird how things spin out of control all of the sudden? It's like you think you're in control of everything and you feel on top of the world or something. Then, in the blink of an eye, you've lost all control. That's when you're asking yourself where everything went wrong. I'm constantly asking myself that very question, but I never can figure out the answer.<em>

_At first everything was going well. I was eating healthy, sticking to my diet well for two weeks. I'd wake up in the morning, eat a piece of fruit, work out with the Jacksons and my friends, like we started to do every morning, eat some breakfast, go to the studio, eat some lunch, work out again, hang out, eat dinner, work out again, skip dessert and go to sleep. I lost ten pounds that way and I felt great._

_But, I needed to lose more. I had to. I don't even remember when I started becoming obsessed with it. Yes, obsession is a good word. You've noticed that after the first two entries I stopped giving a date for when I write. It's because the days don't matter to me anymore. They all blended together. James's and Carlos's birthdays had already past and it's almost my birthday soon. I was able to get through both parties without eating a lot of cake. But, they were good. Riley sure knows how to make some desserts. Man, I can't believe it's already September. I've been doing this for two...three months and I've never felt better. _

_Ever since that gym thing, I've been taking it a little slower though. That was pretty scary. I've never felt my heart beat that fast before. And it actually hurt. Well, since then I've been eating a little bit more than usual, trying to gain some energy back. I think that's what it was, I didn't have a lot of energy. But, I don't eat too much more.  
><em>

_All that matters is losing weight. I don't even know when I stopped caring about muscle mass. I had gotten it like I wanted to, sure, but I knew I could look better. _

_I could look like James one day! _

_I can!_

_Kendall's been acting strange lately. Or maybe that's just me._

_This is all worth it isn't it? I mean, I've always been giving the advice to people to just be themselves around people they like. When have I become such a hypocrite? This has to be worth it..._

_It just has to..._

_Maybe..._

_I don't know anymore...  
><em>

-_Logan Mitchell_


	12. The Song

**~The Song~**

* * *

><p>"So, Gustavo, if we're not doing studio work today, why are we here?" James asked as he sat down on the couch in Gustavo's office. "I have some tanning I need to get to, so if you don't mind—"<p>

"SIT DOWN!" Gustavo shouted at James and he immediately did as he said. "Boys, I called you down here today to teach you a lesson."

"If this is about your broken coffee mugs…we didn't have anything to do with it," Carlos said with a sheepish grin. Gustavo and Kelly exchanged glances as Logan, James, and Kendall elbowed him in the sides.

"That's something entirely different that _we'll get back to_," Kelly said through clenched teeth as she forced Gustavo to keep still in his chair. "You guys are going over to Blazing Phoenix Records today to see the Jacksons record their songs."

"Uh, but they always come over here," Kendall replied. "So, why are we?"

"Well, with them being in the music business longer than you, they are more experienced in some areas than you are," Gustavo replied, tapping his fingers together. "Like PUTTING EMOTION INTO THEIR MUSIC!"

"Need I remind you of the fiasco with getting Carlos a girlfriend just so he could sing about that in your guys' song?" Kelly said as Carlos slumped low in his seat, face burning. "They're great at putting the emotions from personal stories into their songs, and we want you to see how they do that, no matter what genre the song is or what tempo."

"Bye!" the four boys said in unison before scrambling to leave the room.

"How cool is this! We get to spend all afternoon with our friends," Carlos said with a wide grin as he put his arm around James and Logan's shoulders. "This is going to be epic."

"Imagine what we could learn from them, though," Logan stated, running his fingers through his hair. "It could really help us improve with our own music."

"And we get one day without being yelled at by Gustavo," Kendall said rolling his eyes. "Sometimes I wonder how Kelly and Ronan can put up with him."

"It's just like how we can put up with you and your feelings for Riles," James replied with a grin, giving Kendall's shoulder a shove as soon as they stepped out of Rocque Records. "Man, you smiled so wide the minute you found out we were going over there today."

"Just tell her how you feel, Kendall," Logan said with somewhat of a groan. "The worst thing she can do is laugh."

"There's a good chance that she'll do that anyway," Kendall commented, fixing the beanie on his head.

"She won't," Carlos shook his head. "I know she won't. Just ask her out."

"Yeah," Logan agreed. "A life without risks is a life unlived my friend." Kendall grinned when he heard his quote used back at him. "So, just take a risk."

Kendall fell silent as the rest of his friends joked around the rest of the way to Blazing Phoenix Records. They were immediately directed to Ronan's office and saw Katie sitting on the floor of the studio, doing some of her homework. "Hey, Katie. What are you doing here?"

"I came with them to the studio today," Katie replied as she got to her feet to give Kendall a hug in greeting. "Patrick, Noah, and I are going to the movies afterwards."

"Nice to see you guys made it safely," Ronan said as he turned around to face the boys. "I figured Gustavo would've kept you late, yelling at you about what you can and can't do while you're over here."

"No, I think he was too distracted by the fact that he found out we broke his coffee mugs," James replied with a small laugh as he dropped down onto one of the couches. He immediately reached for the bowl of popcorn that was sitting on the table.

"Well, like Gustavo most likely told you, we're going over emotions in song today," Ronan replied as he clapped his hands together. He nodded towards the studio booth where Riley, Rhuben, Patrick, and Noah were standing around Sydney who was sitting on a stool, pointing at a notebook he held in his hands. "As you can see, they're more serious when they're working, so don't expect to really get a response out of them until they're done."

"Uh, we're going over a few songs today, especially a new one they wrote just recently called Hollow Man. They said it's about you guys, but I'm not too sure it is," Ronan replied, looking somewhat embarrassed as he scratched the back of his neck. "Anyway, um, if you're hungry we can get some food in here."

Ronan laughed as Carlos practically cut him off, shouting out what he wanted to eat. He left the studio to get the boys their food and the four of them and Katie talked quietly as they waited, every once in a while looking in on the Jacksons and seeing them occasionally in a little bit of an argument with each other as they jabbed at the notebook.

Soon, Ronan came back with their food, and then the room was filled with the loud opening to the song. "This song is called Hollow Man."

The Jacksons continued on with the rest of the somber toned song. James, Carlos, and Kendall exchanged glances. They weren't sure how this had to do with them, and they wondered whether or not they had done something to make them mad. It was hard for them to figure out what he could've possibly done.

But, they had to admit that the Jacksons were great in any genre of music they sang. This gave them an eerie feeling that they couldn't shake. They knew something was up, but they didn't know what it was. As the Jacksons continued with their song, nearing the end, Kendall wondered if this song had something to do with their jailed father. But, he wasn't too sure.

"Wow, that was really good," Kendall commented as he turned away from the studio window to face Ronan as soon a the Jacksons finished singing. "They're really good at putting their emotion into songs."

"Mhm," Ronan agreed as he pressed a few buttons on the panel in front of him. He held up his hand and made a looping motion with his hand before the music started playing again. "This is why Gustavo sent you guys over here today. To show you how important it is to put yourself into your music."

"So, what's this song about?" James asked, leaning forward in his seat.

"It's kind of obvious, actually," Ronan replied, turning in his chair to face the boys. "It's about someone they thought they knew who turned to be someone they wish would stay the same. Someone they hope they don't turn into and it disgusts them that this happened."

"So, it's about their dad?" Carlos asked, reaching towards the bowl of popcorn. He grabbed a handful of popcorn before shoving it into his mouth.

"It could be," Ronan gave a one shouldered shrug just like his kids did. He stretched his arms over his head and scratched the back of his head. "But, if you listen closely, the lyrics talk about someone who's a former shell of themselves. They've only seen Robert in one way. It could apply to anyone."

"But, I don't understand why they said it had to do with us," Logan replied, frowning. "We haven't done anything to them and it seems like they're slamming us." James and Kendall nodded in agreement.

"They didn't say specifically that it was about you," Ronan reminded them. "It could easily be about how Hollywood changes people and they think you, or all of you, are changing from the people they originally met. I wouldn't go too deep into it." He then paused and looked at the untouched meal on Logan's plate. "You sure you're not hungry? We've got plenty."

"No, I'm ok, I ate before coming here," Logan replied with a shake of his head.

"If you call drinking three glasses of orange juice and eating a bowl of grapes satisfying," Katie commented from where she was sitting on the floor. She grinned as she took his plate. "More for me then."

"It _was_ satisfying, thanks," Logan replied, crossing one leg over the other. He peered at his plate before grabbing it back from Katie. "It's better to eat that as a snack anyway. It's more filling. Which is why I'm not hungry." Kendall gave him an odd look and he added, "I'll eat it later."

"Uh oh!" James laughed. "Soon, he's going to be asking how many calories are in an individual piece of popcorn."

Ronan's eyebrows rose. Kendall noticed his hands twisting tightly together in his lap. He gave the older man a curious look, but Ronan turned back around to face his kids as the song ended. "Alright, did that sound good to you?" he asked into a microphone.

"Yes," Patrick replied, massaging his throat. "But, can we do another song, I think if I try that again, my voice is going to go."

"Good idea," Ronan commented, pursing his lips in thought. "Do True Colors, I think that'll be easy on your vocals. Last song for today. You did such a great job today, I'll let you leave early." As the music started playing, Ronan motioned for Kendall to follow him out of the room. Kendall shrugged and gave his friends a confused look when they silently gave him looks of wonder back. "This will sound weird, but I need you to keep a close eye on Logan for me."

"Ok," Kendall blinked, surprised. He never turned down something that Ronan asked him to do. Ever since he met the young producer, Ronan had felt somewhat like a father figure to him and he gave him a lot of respect for it. "I mean, I always look out for my friends."

"I know," Ronan said with a nod, glancing back into the room. "It's just…I really need you to do this for me."

"Is something wrong?" Kendall asked, tilting his head to the side.

"No, I'm sure everything's fine," Ronan replied. "He just looks sick is all. Kinda pale."

"Yeah, I've noticed that too," Kendall replied as he slid his hands into his pants pockets. "A lot of people in the Palm Woods are getting sick. I think that's what it is."

"Right, getting sick," Ronan replied, distracted as he rubbed his chin. He then looked up at Kendall and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Thanks, Kendall. I just wanted to tell you that."

"Yeah, no problem," Kendall replied with a nod. '_But there's nothing wrong with him. Is there_?'

* * *

><p>Logan laid at the foot of his bed, curled up in a ball, his arms wrapped around his stomach, letting out a groan of pain every now and then as a sharp pain hit his stomach. "I shouldn't have eaten so much," he groaned. "My stomach is killing me." He let out a loud burp, sighing as he felt a little bit better. "It was just because you were so hungry, Logan. That's all. Hunger pains are worse than this." He rubbed his burning eyes and let out a sigh. "Just sleep it off. You're so tired. You need more energy."<p> 


	13. Rhuben's Suspicion

**~Rhuben's Suspicion~**

* * *

><p>Excited screams and loud laughter filled the entire beach. There were a few children running around happily, including two teenager, Logan and Rhuben. Rhuben seemed to be "it" as she was trying to catch one of them.<p>

Every once in a while, the Jacksons would go to the local orphanage to take the kids out to the beach to play. It was their way of giving back as they had lived in the orphanage back in Australia at one point in time before they were adopted by Robert. Logan decided to tag along as it was a great way for him and Riley to spend together.

Logan laughed to himself, smiling as he watched Rhuben chase the kids around the sand. She sighed when she heard her watch starting to beep. "Sorry guys, it's time to head back."

"Awww," the group of kids whined, looking crestfallen.

"Come on, come on, get your shoes," Rhuben stated as she took the bandana that was in her hands, giving it back to the kid who lent it to her. "Get your shoes and your socks. Miss Mattie will be waiting for you."

"When will you come back?" a girl with pigtails asked. "Will Logan come too? When will your brothers and sister be the there?"

"Soon, don't worry," Rhuben replied as she gave one of her pig tails a gentle tug. "I think it's Patrick, Noah, and Sydney's turn next." Some of the kids cheered as they gathered their stuff and hurried to the exit of the beach, crowding around a brunette woman. Rhuben waved at her and the woman waved back before the kids left. "Well, that was fun." She turned to look at Logan and saw that he was still wearing his amused smile on his face.

"Bella…" he started.

"You!" she interrupted him, jabbing a finger into his chest. "You cheated didn't you? You could see!" She was referring to their game of tag when whoever was "it" was blindfolded and had to tag everyone else. Logan was it at one point, but he didn't want to play until Rhuben declared that "the loser has to kiss Logan". Obviously, then he was all for it, and each time he was able to find her and tag her, much to her annoyance and amazement.

Logan shook his head in response. "I swear to you, Bella, I couldn't see." He gave her a soft smile.

"Hmm…" Rhuben thought for a moment, she felt defeated. "Are you sure?" Rhuben remained skeptical. "But how did you manage to find me every time?"

Logan smiled and shrugged. "I can always find you, no matter where you are." He then gave her a flirty smile. "Speaking of which, Bella. You still owe me a kiss as punishment."

"Huh?" Rhuben looked up at him in surprise.

"Since you won't take the initiative…" Logan started. "I will." With that, Logan placed his arm around Rhuben's waist and brought her closer to him. Rhuben gasped in surprise while Logan used that as his advantage, claiming her lips as his own. She was wide-eyed at first, but she slowly closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around his neck.

The couple broke the passionate kiss for air. Logan still had not let go of Rhuben and gazed straight into her beautiful blue eyes. "I've been wanting to do that for a while," he stated, suddenly looking really shy. She just stared back at him. "Sorry, I—"

"No," Rhuben shook her head, bowing her head as she blushed. "No, don't be sorry. I liked it." She peered up at him through his bangs and Logan grinned from ear to ear. "I've wanted to do that too."

"Really?" he asked, surprised, although he was still smiling.

"Yeah," Rhuben replied, her voice barely above a whisper. "Logie, ever since you've come out to LA—"

Logan bent his head and kissed her again, running his fingers through her hair. "I know," he replied simply as soon as he pulled away. "I've felt the same way, Bella. I always have. I've wanted to tell you for a while."

"Y'know, Dak Zevon has been asking me out for a while now," Rhuben commented and Logan peered curiously down at her. "But, I've always turned him down…'cause, well, I'm close friends with him, but it's different with you. I don't worry about what I say or what I do when I'm around him. But with you—"

"I get what you mean," Logan replied, before giving her a hug. Rhuben rested her forehead against her shoulder, hugging him back.

"Are you ok?" Logan asked. Rhuben stepped out of his arms and forced a smile, although there was still a nervous look on her face.

"Perfect." She brushed her hair out of her face. "Let's go back to the Palm Woods. I have some homework I need your help with." Logan smiled as his stomach let out a loud growl. Rhuben laughed and poked him in the stomach. "Come on, Speedy Gonzalez, let's get something to eat as well."

* * *

><p>"Are you okay?" Rhuben suddenly asked.<p>

Logan looked up from his math book and saw that she was giving him a hard stare. He looked around the pool deck before back at her, shrugging. "Yea, why?"

"You never seem to eat."

_She's never one to really beat around the bush_. "What are you talking about? Of course I eat," Logan replied offering her a small smile. He glanced around at the many empty aluminum foil boats, which previously held hot dogs, all eaten by Logan. But, she still continued to stare at him, a serious look on her face. She slowly shook her head from side to side.

"No you don't, at least not at lunch or dinner any of the times I've slept over in your guys' apartment," Rhuben replied. "Pat, No, and Syd have noticed as well. You turn down food whenever it's offered, as long as you're not being rude."

"I do not," Logan replied with a shake of his head. He started to tap his book with his pencil. "I just don't like all food. Sometimes I don't like the food you make either." Rhuben blinked before pursing her lips.

"So then what kind of food do you like?"

"I like meat, sweets, pasta," Logan replied giving another shrug. "Why do you care so much anyway?"

"Why do I- _really_!" Rhuben gave him a hurt look and he immediately felt his stomach clench. He hated doing anything that made his friends upset with him. "I care because you're my best friend, and I love you, and something is obviously wrong with you!"

"Oh my god!" Logan snapped, suddenly getting annoyed. He was so annoyed he shot past that she had actually told him that she loved him. "Nothing is wrong with me!"

"Then why don't you eat?" Rhuben replied, their voice cracking.

"I do… just not as much or as often as you seem to think I should," Logan replied giving another shrug. Rhuben's eyes flashed dangerously as they narrowed. "But guess what? It doesn't matter what you or anyone else thinks I should do. It's my body and my weight and my problem."

"How much do you weigh?" she suddenly asked.

"Why does it matter so much to you?" Logan asked, trying to break the conversation.

"Logan, how much do you weigh?" Rhuben repeated in a low tone. He knew she was serious as she had actually called him by his full name.

Logan sucked on his teeth. "Five more pounds than I want to."

"Which is…?"

"Hundred fifteen."

"Hundred…fifteen! So that makes you weigh hundred twenty now, right?"

"Yea, I really need to drop these five pounds."

Rhuben let out a loud noise of frustration, slapping their hand down on the table, causing Logan to jump. "_No_, you _don't_. Hundred twenty is still a lot less than a lot of other guys your age weigh." She shook her head and said, "You don't need to lose weight. I thought you just wanted to gain muscle mass." Her voice cracked with emotion.

"Listen. Okay, I don't need your help, I didn't ask for your opinion on my weight. You're not helping me by doing this," Logan said in a heated whisper. "If anything this is adding to my stress, which I really don't need right now."

"Logan, I've seen this before, I know I can help you," Rhuben pleaded. "I want to help you before it's too late. If you get help now, you won't have to go to therapy or anything. At least, I don't think. You're not too far along and- what do you have to be stressed out about?"

"Oh, there's a list," Logan replied with a snort. "But, it doesn't matter. You don't know me, you don't know my life, and you defiantly don't know my problems."

Another look of hurt crossed her face and again, Logan felt his stomach twist up, even more painful this time. He felt like he was going to throw up. He didn't know why or how he could say those hurtful things to her, but he couldn't stop them from coming out.

"So tell me, I want to help," she said in a quiet voice.

"They are my problems! I can handle it!" Logan cried.

"By not eating?" her anger and frustration was back. "How does that help with anything?"

"You wouldn't understand, so there is no point in trying to explain it to you in the first place," Logan shook his head.

"Please, try me," Rhuben pleaded. "I can be a very understanding person when I want to be."

"I know you can, and that's one of the many things I love about you," Logan replied, his voice dropping. "But, I don't think you'll understand. I'm sorry." He closed his books and started packing them into his backpack before leaning forward, giving her a quick kiss on the lips. He went to pull back, and smiled when Rhuben grabbed the sides of his head, keeping him still, kissing him. "I'll see you later. I'm going to the gym with Riles."

"Kay." Rhuben sighed heavily as she watched him go. "I understand more than you know, Logie-Bear."


	14. Riley's Confession

**~Riley's Confession~**

* * *

><p>"Fifteen….sixteen…seventeen….eighteen…nineteen…twenty!" Riley slowly counted as she watched Logan do push-ups in front of her.<p>

It was three in the afternoon and Logan decided to hang out at the gym with Riley. They hadn't had a lot of time to spend together recently and with Logan wanting to gain some muscle mass, she decided to help him out with the list of things to do while in the gym that James had made up for him. "Good job, Logie!"

Logan continued to lower himself to the floor and push himself back up again. "Twenty-One," he breathed, eyes squeezed shut. "Twenty-Two! Twenty-Three!" His arms were burning but he had to finished. '_I'm almost there. Just until thirty and then you can start crunches_.'

"Almost there," Riley coached from beside him. "Twenty-Nine! Thirty!" Logan dropped to the ground, breathing heavily. "Great job, Logie! I'm impressed, you're really sticking to this diet."

"And I feel great, too," Logan replied, looking up at his friend, breathing heavily. "I feel like I can do more. I have so much energy." His eyes flashed with excitement. "I've never felt like this before. I'm even getting faster when we play hockey."

"Bonzer," Riley grinned, patting him on the arm. "It doesn't hurt to eat healthy. You'll just feel better overall." Logan nodded and rolled onto his back to start doing crunches. Riley sat up and put her hands on his feet to steady them. "Has Kendall and them noticed?"

"Yep," Logan replied as he sat up, breathing heavily. "Only cause…I'm getting on their nerves…asking how many calories…are in…what we eat."

Riley chuckled, shaking her head. "Don't become too obsessed with calories, Logie," she commented with a shake of her head. "Just eat sensibly and work out and you'll be fine." She frowned slightly when Logan didn't reply. "No need to really worry about it."

"Yep," Logan agreed. Riley's eyebrows twitched. "No worries, Landy. I just want to stick with this."

"Sure," Riley replied with a nod.

'_Just eat fewer calories and work out,_' Logan thought, repeating it over and over in his head. '_You've already lost ten pounds. Imagine how many more you could lose. You could look like James in no time._' He stopped and flopped down onto his back, running his hand over his stomach.

"You've really got some abs coming, Logie," Riley said with a grin as she lightly slapped him in the stomach. "Come on, let's go get something to eat."

* * *

><p>"Logie, what do you want?"<p>

Logan glanced at Riley as she pulled her wallet out of her bag before looking over at the menu. His stomach growled, but nothing on the menu looked appetizing. '_Or healthy_' he thought with a shake ogf his head. "Oh, I'm fine thanks." He gave her a smile. "I ate before we started working out."

"So, you should be hungry now," Riley replied.

"I'll eat some fruit when I get back to the Palm Woods," Logan replied with a shrug. "I'm fine. Trust me. Just some water, please."

"Okay then," Riley nodded before turning back to the waitress. "Uhmm. I'll have a toasted sandwich with ham, cheese and tomato. And a chocolate milkshake, please." The waitress nodded and walked off and Riley turned her attention back to Logan. "So, our 17th is coming up. What are you planning?"

"Nothing big," Logan replied, shrugging again. He started drumming his fingers on the table. "Just wanna hang out with everyone. Have a party for our 18th. A huge blow out. Any suggestions?"

"I dunno," Riley replied with a brief shake of her head. "Whatever I suppose." She gave him a small smile. "So, what are you going to get Rhubes? Any ideas for that?"

"Not yet," Logan replied with a shake of his head. He sighed heavily. "I've tried thinking of everything. But, it doesn't seem like enough, y'know?"

"Yeah, I know," Riley replied.

"You should tell Kendall," Logan muttered. "You have so much in common. I think you'd be perfect for each other."

"You know how hard it is for us to talk about our feelings," Riley commented as the waitress came with her chocolate milkshake. She took a long sip from it and smiled, licking her lips. "Mmmm. I just, I hate it cause I feel too vulnerable. But, I'm getting better."

"How often do you see your shrink, now?" Logan asked, messing with a napkin.

"Only when we need to," Riley replied evenly. "Patrick and Noah go more because of their anxiety and panic attacks and stuff. Sometimes I have nightmares about dad, but not much anymore. They've really helped."

"Well, I'm glad," Logan replied with a smile. "You guys have opened up more since your dad has left. You seem—"

"Normal?" Riley asked, arching an eyebrow.

"Happy," Logan finished, giving her an odd look. "No one's normal, Landy."

Riley's order arrived and Logan started hungrily at the toasted sandwich. Suddenly his stomach rumbled embarrassingly. Riley paused in her eating and looked at Logan. He blushed under her gaze. "What did you eat before you came here? You sound starved!"

"Oh...I had a huuuuge lunch," Logan replied. "Mrs. Knight made macaroni and cheese with hot dog bits in them and those dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets. You know how much I love those." Riley smiled and nodded before taking another bite out of her sandwich. "And I had hot dogs when I was with Bella too. I just don't feel well, that's all. My stomach's been doing that all day."

Riley paused and looked up at Logan, giving him a suspicious look. Logan pulled his cup of water over to him and took a long sip. She let out a heavy sigh. "You're not starving yourself are you? I mean, you've dropped a few kilos since last month."

Logan smiled and simply started laughing. "Are you kidding?" he asked. "Do you know how dangerous that is? Me starve myself! That's a new one."

"Yes, Logie, unfortunately, I know how dangerous that is," Riley stated, her voice tight before taking another bite of her sandwich.

Logan peered at her, his eyebrows furrowing slightly. '_So she knows someone that's starved themselves? But, who would do something like that? That's so dangerous.'_ He started playing with the napkin again. '_Then again, that means you're not taking in a lot of calories and you'd be working out more, burning more._'

"You haven't eaten at all, have you?" Riley asked suddenly, snapping him out of his thoughts. "Like, ever since this first started."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Logan replied, shaking his head. "I've been eating. Ask anyone."

"I just want to help, Logie," Riley said in a quiet voice. "Starving yourself isn't going to help anything. It's dangerous and you're really going to hurt yourself."

"I _am_ eating, Riles!" Logan said, shaking his head. "There's nothing wrong. I just need to lose a little weight. I have a little of fat here and there. Excuse me if I want to tone myself."

"Logan, you play hockey!" Riley cried. "And you dance, and you go to the beach all the time! You don't need to lose weight and you don't need to gain muscle mass! You already have it!"

"It's not enough," Logan said, shaking his head. "I'm just going for a little while longer. I'll be ok. You're worrying over nothing."

"Logan, you have an eating disorder," Riley said quietly.

Logan set his jaw, suddenly mad. '_Why can't people just leave me alone! Can't they see that I'm ok_?' "No, I don't," he replied evenly. "I'm…I'm not like that." He then bowed his head and added quietly, "Not anymore."

"Everyone says that, but I can happen to everybody even if they don't realize it," Riley replied with a shake of her head. "Denial is the first step. Just accept it."

"I don't have anything I need to accept!" Logan snapped. "I'm fine."

"I just want to help," Riley said quietly. "Logie, I know how this goes. I've seen it before. I can help you, stop this before it's too late."

"You and Bella are like broken records, I swear to god! There's nothing I need help with," Logan said as he got to his feet. "Thanks for helping me today. I've gotta run."

"Logie!" Riley called after him, but he hurried out the door. She grabbed her wallet and threw a wad of money down on the table. "I've gotta find Kendall."

* * *

><p>"I'm telling you, nothing's wrong with Logan," Kendall said in a tight voice.<p>

As soon as Riley had left Logan that afternoon, she went to track Kendall down, finding him at the ice rink like she knew she would find him. He always went there when he needed to clear his head, or just to keep reminding himself of where he came from and how this could all be taken away from him.

As soon as she found him, she told him that they needed to talk about something important and that it would be better to have the conversation back in their apartment where they couldn't be overheard. Once they were back in the Palm Woods, and in apartment 2J, Riley told him everything she was thinking and worried about.

"No, you just don't want to see that there is!" Riley shot back, her eyes flashing. "Can't you see what's going on? He's not eating! He's working out too much. Kendall, he has an eating disorder."

"No, you're wrong," Kendall shook his head. "He would never do that."

"He has," Riley replied quietly and Kendall shook his head harder. "He has, Kendall. Think about it! That song Rhubes wrote, Hollow Man, is about him."

"No, no, no," Kendall moaned, putting his head in his hands before dropping down onto the couch. "No." He lifted his head and looked up at Riley, a look of disbelief on his face. "How do you know?"

"I've seen it before," Riley replied, placing a hand on his shoulder, giving it a squeeze. "I know all the signs."

"Who?"

"Rhubes," Riley replied, moving to sit down next to him and Kendall let out another noise of despair. "Hers wasn't too bad, we noticed before anything could really happen. Luckily, she'd only lost a little bit of weight, it was her never eating that tipped us off. She was only in rehab for a month; it just about killed her though. Y'know 'cause we hate to be apart." Kendall nodded. "None of the press found out." She rubbed his back. "Surely, you've noticed that we monitor her eating."

"I never thought about it," Kendall replied, his voice barely above a whisper. "I mean, she eats slower the rest of you, that's about it."

"And we always make sure at least one of us is still at the table while she's eating," Riley replied. "And as soon as she's done we tell Ronan what she ate and how long it took. Sometimes we're there for hours, but she gets better each day. If we get Logan help now, we can turn this around. He isn't too far in." She rested her head on his shoulder and ran her fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck. "We need to tell your mom. He can get help. He'll be ok."

"I'm so stupid," Kendall slapped his hands down onto his legs. "I should've known something was wrong. I should've done something. Anything!"

"You didn't know what to look for," Riley shook her head. "Don't blame yourself, because it's not your fault." Kendall shook his head and briefly looked at her his green eyes had lost its normal shine. "Kendall, look at me," Riley said as she rested her chin on his shoulder. He didn't move. "Kendall." Kendall lifted his head and turned to look at her. She moved forward and pressed her lips against his in a soft kiss, to which he immediately responded to. He gave her a confused, yet happy, look when she pulled away. "It's not your fault; don't blame yourself for something you've never witnessed before. Ok?"

"…Kay," Kendall nodded.

"And you can't always be there for Logan, or James or Carlos, or even Katie and Mama Knight to look after them now matter how hard you want to," Riley added. "Well, maybe you'll find a way, but you have to accept the fact that something like this could happen." She watched as tears gathered in his eyes. "I've accepted that one day Pat, No, and even Syd will tell me that they don't need me to protect them anymore. Sure, it'll suck but it just shows that they're giving me time to do what I want and to not worry about them."

"And you're _sure_ we can get Logan help?" Kendall asked, his voice cracking as he wiped his eyes with his hands.

"Positive," Riley replied with a nod. "And no one needs to know. We can make sure that no paparazzi gets wind of this. Trust me."

He nodded and let out a sigh, laughing a little bit. "No offense, but I guess it's a good thing we've made friends who know how to get through things like this."

"You got that right," Riley replied, laughing a little bit as well. She removed her arm from his shoulders and got to her feet.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

"I was going to call Ronan and everyone and tell them what's going on," Riley replied, waving her phone in his face. "We can tell your mom as soon as she gets back, and then we can confront Logan."

"Could you do that later?" Kendall asked, suddenly looking like a small boy. "I don't want to be alone, not even for a minute."

"Sure, Hockey-Head," Riley stated as she put her phone back into her pocket. She dropped back into her seat, once again running her fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck.

He turned his head and gave her a soft kiss. "I love you, Riles."

Riley blinked, surprised, as a smile etched onto her face. "I love you too, Kendork." Kendall smiled and pressed his forehead against hers, closing his eyes.

* * *

><p>Logan looked around the restaurant he and Rhuben were sitting in. They were silently eating their dinner, Logan pushing his food around his plate every now and then, as they talked. It was comfortable for him, sitting across from her, sharing nice conversation.<p>

He could barely believe that he was actually out with the girl of his dreams. He could barely believe that he had the courage to kiss her on the beach that day. But, he had been the happiest he'd ever been since then. But, despite all that, he felt weary and ready to jump out of his skin at any moment. What's more, he didn't like the way she was looking at him. Like she was expecting him to tell her something. And he had a sinking feeling that she knew what he had been keeping from everybody.

"Are you ok?" she asked, raising an eyebrow. "You seem…twitchy tonight."

He glanced around, heart beat quickening as he drummed his fingers on the table. "I'm fine," he told her.

"You're always saying that," Rhuben gently replied, reaching out to take his hand.

He quickly pulled it away. '_When'd my hands get so cold_?' She gave him a patient look, folding her hands in her lap. But, he was surprised. She was never the type to initiate any form of PDA around anybody, she was that closed off. But, it made him feel good that she was giving it a chance with him.

"Logan, there's something wrong with you," she said quietly. "I just want to help."

"No there's not!" Logan cried. He looked around at some of the other people who were eating there and quickly lowered his voice. "I don't need help. There's nothing about me that needs help."

"I'm just worried about you, Logan," Rhuben replied.

'_There's nothing wrong with me! Why can't you see that? I feel great! Amazing!_' Logan frantically thought, pressing his lips together. '_Whatever happened to privacy_?'

"You don't have to worry about me," Logan replied. He let out a breath of air and reached across the table, cupping her cheek with his hand. "I'm fine. I feel great" Rhuben closed her eyes and placed her hand on top of his before gently removing it, holding it tightly in her hand.

"You're starving yourself," Rhuben replied. She wasn't asking him, she was telling him.

Logan looked around, trying to find a way to get out quickly. But, he was caught. He knew he was, he could see it in her eyes that no matter what he said, he wouldn't believe it. And he was tired of running. He was scared that if he left, then he wouldn't be able to stop.

And he wanted to stop. That stumble in the gym really scared him. He had never felt his heart beat so quickly and it actually _hurt_! Ever since then, he tried to keep eating, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. It was just easier to skip. The hunger pains still kept him up at night and he wanted it to stop.

"How do you know?" Logan asked in a quiet voice, sounding scared.

"Because…I used to have an eating disorder, too," Rhuben replied, sounding just as quiet. Logan stared at her, eyes wide with shock and fear. "Yeah, I know. It's not all that surprising actually. It happens a lot to girls, mainly to dancers."

Logan dropped his head and felt tears immediately come to his eyes. "I'm not like this," he muttered, shaking his head. "I'm too smart for this."

"Even smart people can be brainwashed, Logan," Rhuben gently replied. "You've brainwashed yourself into thinking, 'If I lose more weight, I can do this' and 'If I lose more weight, I can do that' and you constantly compare yourself to other people." She peered at him, tilting her head to the side. "Am I right?" Logan silently nodded. "You're going to have to tell Mrs. Knight."

"I don't think I can," Logan whispered, shaking his head. "What will she think of me?"

"You're her son just as much as Kendall is," Rhuben replied evenly. "Just like Ronan thought of me as his daughter way before he decided to adopt us. She's not going to judge you, she's going to want to help you."

"But, if you've had this before," Logan said quietly. "Then you must've known I've had this problem."

"Yes, my whole family knew," Rhuben replied with a nod. "Ever since my spell with anorexia, which is what you have, they've been keeping close tabs on me whenever I'm eating something. I've gotten better, but we all noticed, and we warned Kendall about it too."

"And your song—"

"It really isn't about you at all," Rhuben replied, laughing despite the situation. "It's about how Hollywood changes the people we know into a former shell of themselves. We decided to tell you, hoping that one of the guys would pick up on our worry for you. Thank god, Ronan did."

"I should've known better," Logan groaned, running his hands over his face. "I'm not like this. I don't do stuff like this. I shouldn't have yelled at you. I didn't mean to hurt you, Bella. I just—"

"You just?" Rhuben repeated, prompting Logan. He shook his head.

"I want help," he croaked out before he burst into tears. "I'm scared, Bella. I was running, and my knees buckled. My heart was hurting so bad. I didn't think I was going to die, but I was so scared."

"It could be worse, Logan," Rhuben replied. "A _lot_ worse. Trust me, I've seen it. And it really is scary." Logan looked up at her and saw tears welling up in her eyes. "I love you, Logan. I don't want to see you hurt. You were there for me with...the abuse thing…and now I'm going to be there for you. Just like a best friend should."

Logan nodded. '_Everything will be ok, Logie. You're going to get help. You've gotten help just in time. But, what's everyone else going to say?_'

* * *

><p><strong>The next chapter is the last chapter and it's also technically the epilogue at the same time. Thanks so much for reading this story, you guys! I hope you enjoyed it. The "theme songs" for this fic is Hollow Man by Trapt and Phil Collins' cover of True Colors.<strong>

**PS: Head on over to our twitter (DarkElements10) and check out the blog post I updated.**

**Cheers,**

**-Rhubes**


	15. Hollow Man

**~Hollow Man~**

* * *

><p>"<em>How could you do this to yourself<em>!" Logan peered up at Katie who had tears in her eyes, glaring furiously back at him.

He sat on the orange couch in apartment 2J, facing Mrs. Knight, Kendall, Carlos, James, the Jackson-McGuires, Gustavo, and Kelly. (Camille, Stephanie, and Jo knew what was going on with Logan, but they felt like all of this would go better if they weren't there as they hadn't been directly involved with everything that had gone on.) He bowed his head again, holding himself as tightly as possible. He felt like crap. He could see the looks on everyone's faces. He could only imagine how his parents were going to take the news, but he knew he had to tell them.

"You're supposed to be setting a good example for me," she cried, furiously wiping at her eyes. "All of you! Kendall shows me how hard work pays off! Carlos shows me that it's ok to have a fun outlook on life. James shows me how important it is to be in shape, and he has good hair tips." James gave a small laugh despite the situation. "And _you_ show me how important a good education is. You're _smart_ Logan! How could you do something so _dumb_?"

Logan winced and he felt tears coming to his eyes. "I don't know," he moaned, burying his face into his hands. "I don't know."

"Yelling at him isn't going to make things any better, Kates," Noah commented, gently tugging on her hand, pulling her back onto the couch to get her to sit down. "Trust me."

"I'm sorry, Logan," Kendall said in a quiet voice. "I should've paid more attention. I could've stopped you. I knew something was wrong, I just didn't want to admit it."

"It's not your fault, Kendall," Rhuben spoke up, from her spot next to Logan. She was rubbing his back in soothing circles. "Trust me when I say that. It was Logan's idea to do this." Logan winced again. "I just want to know why."

"I wanted you to like me," Logan whispered. "I wanted you to like me the way I liked you." He lifted his head and let out a bitter laugh. "I know you used to like James and I can't blame you. He's handsome, funny, and is in great shape." He shook his head, sniffing loudly. "You're always complimenting him on his physique I thought—" He shook his head. "I don't know what I thought."

"You thought that if you looked more like James I'd like you more," Rhuben replied and Logan nodded. "Logie!"

"I know," Logan moaned. "I was so stupid! I knew what I was doing was dangerous, but I didn't feel bad. I felt good. I looked good."

"So…this is all my fault?" James asked, his voice cracking with emotion. Everyone turned to look at him and he slowly shook his head back and forth.

"What do you mean?" Ronan asked, raising his eyebrows.

"I mean…I knew all along how much he liked her," James replied in a low tone. "So I figured that if I started flirting with her, he would get annoyed and finally do something about it." He looked over at Rhuben and cracked a smile. "I do believe she's really beautiful and I wouldn't mind going out with her myself, but it really was just a joke. She never took what I said seriously. I didn't mean for this to happen." He reached out and squeezed Logan's shoulder. "I'm sorry man. I didn't mean to hurt you. I—I can't live with myself knowing I put you in this…state." He broke off as tears came to his eyes.

"All that matters is that we're getting you help now," Mrs. Knight commented in a quiet voice. "Ronan has the number to the counselor that helped with Rhuben. You'll be back to normal in no time."

"I'm sorry," Logan looked up at everybody, tears sliding down his cheeks. "I thought I'd be happier this way, but I'm not. And most importantly, I've hurt the people I love the most." He looked over at Ronan who was flipping through his food journal. "They'll really be able to help me?"

"Luckily, like Bells, we've caught on before there was any real damage," Ronan replied with a nod as he looked up from the notebook. "You're going to be ok, Logan. It's just going to take you a while."

"Great," Logan said with a sigh. He then looked over at Gustavo. "I never thought I'd say this, but I'm going to need you there, too Gustavo. I need you there to yell at me."

"It'd be my pleasure!" Gustavo said with a wicked grin as he rubbed his hands together, a mischievous smile on his face. He then pulled his sunglasses off his face and gave Logan a small smile. "Get better soon."

"I'll try," Logan replied with a nod. He swallowed thickly and turned to look at Rhuben. "Thank you for always being there for me."

"No worries," Rhuben replied with a sigh. "You've always been there for me so I guess I needed to return the favor."

"And you can wait for me?" Logan asked quietly. Rhuben gave him a kiss on the cheek and took his hand in hers.

"Always," she replied before resting her head on his shoulder.

"We'll be waiting for you, too," Carlos said in a quiet voice. Logan looked over at him and he smiled. "Get better when you can." He cracked a grin and laughed a little bit. "We're not in a Big Time Rush or anything. Get it?"

Kendall's shoulders silently shook as he tried not to laugh out loud. He caught Carlos's eye and he, too started to laugh a little bit. Before he knew it, he, James, Carlos, and Logan were doubled over in laughter. '_Man, it feels good to hear him laugh again_' he thought as he glanced over at Logan. He smiled at Riley and took her hand in his, kissing the back of it and mouthed, '_Thank You_.'

* * *

><p><em>I stood outside the counselor's office, heart pounding. I had already reached up to knock on the door at least three times, but couldn't bring myself to do it. The reason why was pretty simple. I was scared. I didn't want to admit that I had a problem. This was the only thing I knew I had control over and I was giving it up.<em>

_"Get a grip, Logan!" I coached myself. "I put myself in this position and I can get myself out. Be brave." I sucked in a deep breath and reached out a shaky hand to knock on the door._

_"Come in," A male voice called back, and I cautiously pushed the door open, peering around it. "I'm not going to bite, you know." The young maninside said, smiling. I went all the way into the room, and the door swung shut behind me. "Are you Logan Mitchell?"_

_ I nodded, and the man motioned to a seat, where I sat down right on the edge, ready to get up and run at any moment "Relax. I already told you I don't bite. And if there's anything you don't feel comfortable answering or talking about, feel free to tell me so. You can also leave at any time you want. I'm not forcing you to stay here."_

_I relaxed a little, my breathing almost returning to normal. "It was your friend Rhuben who came to see me about you, wasn't it?" I murmured a yes. "You have a good friend there, and a patient I know fairly well. Don't let her go. Now, let's talk about the issue at hand."_

_The counselor had been more useful than I had thought, and managed to coax me into talking a little more than I originally felt I wanted to, or was comfortable with. I didn't feel pressured with by him at all and that was the biggest relief out of everything. I could see why Rhuben liked him all that much. During that meeting I learned that every once in a while she would go back to visit. I had a nagging feeling that she thought he was handsome as well, but I don't know if I'd actually bring that up to her. _

_What I was most worried about was my parents finding out. I had to beg Mrs. Knight not to tell anyone else (well, I guess they'll find out now), but the counselor had told me that as long as I tried hard to improve, they wouldn't be involved with this at all. And true to her word, Riley and the rest of the Jackson-McGuires were able to make it that no one else found out about this. For that I was truly grateful._

_I've come to the realization that if I could only come to accept the way I was, then I knew I could tackle the road ahead. It would be hard, no question, but I could do it. And I had the best friends and the best girlfriend to help me through it. _

_I'm lucky to have people like that in my life. But, I'm even luckier to have been stopped before it was too late._

"So that's the end of my story. It's been six months, and Bella and I are closer than ever, if that's possible. We make sure the other eats everything in front of each other. It's great to have someone that's been through everything. I was only in rehab for a month, and I was soon back to dancing, and writing music. Gustavo was back to yelling at me for dance and not because of what I ate. That quickly got annoying again. Kendall and Riley are doing well too. Believe it or not, they actually gross me out with all the PDA (I know, Riley and PDA?) they do.

But that's not what's important. You can do whatever you want with what you just learned, but let me tell you, you're truly not alone with this problem and there's no reason for you to start hurting yourself, no matter how bad you think life gets."

Logan briefly glanced up from the book he held in his hands. He looked out at all of the faces staring back at him. Some people were crying, some were refusing to look at him, some looked uncomfortable, and some were just staring back at him in stony silence. Letting out one last breath of air, he finished reading.

"I would've never made it this far without my friends and my family. It just goes to show you that the music business isn't as glamorous as you may think it is. You have people constantly poking and prodding you, telling you to do this and that. But that happens everywhere. So, before you decide to take the path I did, look around. Look at everyone that's been in your life or is currently by your side right now and tell yourself that you're not only going to be hurting yourselves, but you're hurting everybody around you; all because you decided you weren't good enough for yourself. And that, is the worst decision you could ever make."

He closed the book and looked up at everybody, letting out a small smile. "Thank you for your time." He got to his feet as he got to his feet, setting the book down on his chair. He glanced back down at the cover, looking at his reflection staring up at him. He ran his fingers over the raised letters of the title and let out a sigh. '_And now, I'm truly free_.'

"Everyone, please give Mr. Mitchell a round of applause," a voice over the sound system said as people started shifting in his seats. "He'll also be signing copies of his book _Hollow Man_, in a few moments."

"I can't stay long," Logan called out to the audience. He felt himself smile as he looked at his watch. "I have a concert later on tonight." He felt a hand on his shoulder and turned to smile at Rhuben. He wrapped his hands around her waist and gave her a long, breathtaking kiss. "So, how was I?"

"Amazing," she replied, her cheeks flushed pink.

"I mean the book reading," Logan replied, a teasing smile on his face.

"So did I," Rhuben replied grinning. "You did amazing. I think you really showed these people something and they're going to take it to heart."

"I couldn't have done this without you, Bella," Logan whispered, pressing his forehead against hers.

"I know," Rhuben whispered back and Logan kissed her on the forehead. "I know."

**THE END**

* * *

><p><strong>And there's the end! How many of you guessed this was the ending way before hand? I know it seemed like I was rushing through everything, but I never planned on it actually showing things day by day. I had only planned on this being 15 chapters long from the get go. Sometimes people can be found out quickly and some slowly. I wanted you guys to see how quickly this progressed for Logan and how quickly everything got out of control. <strong>

**The only thing I don't like about this is, I don't think I really kept it Lella centric like Rage-Against-Time wanted. =( I'm so sorry if I didn't. **

**Thanks for reading guys, I appreciate it!**

**Cheers,**

**-Rhubes**


End file.
